I feel ashamed and pathetic.

[Bagheera]

Wow, MP, simply wow.

You really and truly have to keep standing up for yourself and protecting yourself. Even if you opt to keep the marrage together "for the sake of the kids" for another two years:

(1) Start protecting yourself financially, as DNO suggests.

(2) Don't take ANY abuse, verbal or otherwise. If she gets verbally abusive, give her a warning, and then walk out. Don't engage in it yourself, simply dis-engage from her.

(3) Keep your own behavior stellar, towards her and the kids, as well as maritally. If you stray now, it WILL be used against you, no matter *what* she's doing.

(4) Collect the evidence of her own overnight trips and infidelity, and don't throu it away this time.

And above all, start living your life for YOURSELF. Get yourself into, or continue to stay in shape. Pick up some new or old hobbies and keep yourself occupied in your off-time. Set new goals and apply yourself to your work. Nurture your relationships with *other men* and develop some new ones if you're missing in that department. Stop focusing on her, and focus on YOU for a change.

And no, you aren't a laughing stock of a man for having your wife give you up for other women. If that was her nature from the beginning, then she hasn't been honest with you. If it's something that developed over time, she's still been the unfaithful one, and she has handled it VERY, VERY poorly. Hold your head up, get up, and dust yourself off....life goes on, so start making a better one for yourself and your kids.

-- B.