Signs to say WAW woke up?

[dday101798]

-Rant-

Uggh, this is so tiring and now costing me money. All the calls and texts we've been making attempting to "make friends" has ran my phone bill nearly $130 over my service plan.

And all that to no avail but to push ME away when the same dead end result comes back around, "she has OM, that's the way it is". The heck with the kids are falling apart, being robbed if their childhood, that's ok, she has OM, that's the way it is. They are facing the lonliest, worst and skimpiest holiday season ever, but that's ok, she has OM and that's the way it is. I'm running out of desire to do anything about us anymore, WHOAH!!!!!, THAT'S NOT OK!!!!!, but she has other man and that's the way it is.

I have been so contained, so low key on every subject, not saying I rolled over on them, but instead of barking out and firing back shots, I listen, I reply calmly and with sincerity, and even give her the benefit of the doubt and agree to "fine, let's be friends while you're with OM and see where things go", but NO, "I'M WITH HIM AND THAT'S THE WAY IT IS". And yet I'M the one with issues?

I have done nothing but improve myself, my temper, my rationale towards her thoughts, and to make her know SHE IS the center of attention every second of every minute the few times we were actually face to face.

I have gone from the ranting, crying and pathetically begging LBS as we all start off as in the beginning, to a self confident, calm, and take injury with compassion for respect of her point of view no matter how wrong I feel it may be.

-end rant-

Anywho, going to try and figure out how I'm going to pay this bill, wasn't in the budget, and increased my daytime minutes as that's when we'd mainly speak. Boy, would I love to drop mention of that in a conversation to show that I do wish to stay in close contact.

Since I spend most of my time at home in the kitchen, I 'de-wifed' the decorations out and think I'm going to repaint the walls and either paint or resurface the cabinets this weekend. Keep my mind off things, change the atmosphere and keep me out of the beer case (been hitting that up a bit too hard lately).

Maybe this way I can come up with some politically correct way to say that I'm not the one with the "messed up head" here, all mine and others attempts to point out the wrongness of this whole thing don't seem to compute.