New Me - Will WAW ever notice?

[Kakatal]

About the divorce papers, I am not quite up on all this stuff. You have been served but nothing is signed and you have not gone to mediation correct? So my assumption is it is in limbo for right now until either you or her decide to start moving it forward. And she is just talking separation for the time being.

California has a 6 month cooling off period. W served me with papers in Oct. I had 20 days to respond but didn't have anything to disagree about. Motion was just concerns physical & legal custody. Divorce would be final in March 09. We had gone to a mediator to work on details of dissolution & agreed on all terms in Sept. Not a court mandated mediator. That paperwork gets submitted & not looked at by judge until Feb 09. Then motion should just be rubber stamped & finalized in Mar. So, still on D track..clock is ticking but no worries from me. What will be will be.

This is a very fragile time for your R so watch what you say and do, she is watching your every move even if you think she is not. Someone once put it as a never ending job interview and after many weeks it will feel that way. Just make sure you find time to do stuff just for yourself that will relive the stress of your sitch.

Time to do my own thing is very precious & hard to come by. Had flu & back/neck issues so I didn't work out for 2 weeks. That I need to start up again. Reconnecting with old friends via Facebook. Still reading - working on His Needs, Her Needs.

Lastly something I figured out a while ago. I use to do things expecting something from my W. You need to learn to do stuff just because it is the right thing to do. If you do it expecting something from her it will take away from you action and trust me she knows if you are doing it because you want something and not because it is the right thing to do. Hope that makes sense.

Makes perfect sense. I have really started to just do what I feel is right with no expectations from w. From having kids make cards for her, giving her back key to house, note of appreciation for cleaning house, bought her 4th book in her Twilight series from us & kids, allowing her to use house to watch kids at when she needs. All that is done because I want to do it. Just part of me being the new me. She didn't thank me for the book for better part of 2 days - bugged me a bit but I never mentioned it to her, never inquired if she got the book, etc. Just let it be. Do something & have no expectations; just feel good myself that I am doing something good for someone else.