Just journaling...h came by yesterday to fix dd car.. I was up in bedroom..he saw the stairway that we sponge painted(kinda a rosey/peachy color..looks cool) he never said he liked or disliked...I commented that I felt bad that he did not look at color I chose, and just said " Get the one you like", and he said back "Haven't I always said get the one you like".."yes" I said.. he seemed to be in a mood of some sorts(again, he has been a moody person at times over the years, so nothing new..but of course now I assume it is about me or us) I asked him for a second time if he wanted to go to movie today with his sister and me..he said he would have to wait and see..wtf...pardon my french..but can't he decide..does he have more important plans..when I mentined it last week, he said then he did not know what he was doing Sunday afternoon..give me a break...just say yes or no...I will not ask again, trust me.
I may be imagining it, and I really have not spent much time around him since he got back from the mission trip with the church, but I sense more of a distance..when I have seen him, his mood towards me is not the same..I know I should not start these stupid thoughts, but it is posssible that the week gave him time to reflect and think about what he wants..and maybe the m is not what he wants..I did find out that the other adults were able to call their spouses...I can't let go of the fact that we are not like those couples..they are together and happy..
I have read many, many threads aound here...while alot you guys are together many are not..but at least you are talking about r,good or bad..you are dating..going on trips..touching, heck even having sex together. We have not made ANY attempts as a couple since he moved out in Nov...boy those doubts are all flooding in.
I know the little steps have been there..but why...what do they mean??? OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I have to get a grip before I say things I might regret.
