They didn't help you by telling you that. But, it doens't matter, anyway. Try to remember, of all the people involved in this, that little boy is the most innocent. He had nothing to do with any of it. He deserves as much love as any little guy.
You need to try to detach your feelings from all of these things going on around you that you can't control, ans get back to centering on you, and your kids. Do what you have to do to protect them, and take care of them. Let the other things take care of themselves. As YR says, live as though your H is not coming back. Anything else is holding you back.
I don't know what I think about how to handle the holidays.... let me think about that some more. His family is so close to you is makes things a bit interesting!
