Perhaps it's time you both make a decision to discuss marital problems with each other rather than a second party. Even if nothing is "going on" with the second party, that's often how affairs get started in the first place. People sharing their problems with a "friend" outside the marriage.
If you need a second party, to listen or help out, look for a good therapist who can give you unbiased and more likely better advice. Either individual or couple counseling.
