I've been lurking and think you are doing great but I want to jump in here with a baby 2x4 if that's ok. . .
You really really really need to stop reading into EVERYTHING your h does. It is only making you crazy. I can feel the craziness through the posts. You are going to make yourself feel insecure and insane if you keep it up much longer. Even though you are back in the house again you need to still DB as far as GAL and PMA. I don't see much of either of those things from reading here. All I see is obsession with what H is doing and what H is thinking. Please stop! You have no way of knowing what he is thinking and/or feeling and all this talk is speculation.
Things are going well for you. Please try to breathe and accept that as fact and not panic and try to figure out how long it will last. Don't you see how destructive that mindset is?
Also. . .just because things are going well does not mean you should just stay there all the time. Why do you drop the idea of going to your friends house everytime things start to look up and then as soon as they fall down again you panic and run away? I thought the friends house was a refuge for you to use to GAL and heal yourself emotionally. I think you should maybe start thinking about going again to get a little space and peace of mind. If you are not around H then maybe you will stop trying to figure out what it all means. Just a day or two. And if his heart is really changing then it will give him a chance to miss you.
Just my opinion here.
You are doing well and I am very happy for you, I just don't want it to fall apart again because of expectations, speculations, or any of that other nonsense we all do from time to time.
