seems very unfair when a WAS feels we should "just trust them" - after all the lies and deception. Would he read the Infidelity chapter in DR or "After the Affair" ? It might be that he just truly does not understand how you felt and still feel about the A and thinks that the best way to get past it is to just "put it in the past and forget it happened".
I think this stage looks even more difficult to get through than before there is any effort at reconcilation. The only other thought I have is the "self-fulfilling prophecy" in DR. If you let your mistrust run riot it will show through and his behaviour towards you will be affected. Vicious circle. If you make a huge effort to hide your mistrust of him (act as if) then his behavior may become more trust worthy.
