H kicked out OW in April because he said he realized that he was trying to recreate what he had with me and that he could only do so with me. We started working on things and spend alot of time together, but he is working SO MUCH that this is hard. Anyway..I am going to break it down a bit..... April OW moved out.....very reluctantly( I had to pack her things for her because she wouldn't pack them...she kept making excuses on why she couldn't move) and sent her packing....she continued to call and email until June 16th when he blocked her email and I sent her one telling her to stay away....no word since...that I know of. H has problems telling the truth. For 4 months he told me he wanted to work things out with me and then said that he was lying to me that entire time......he was sleeping with her and telling me she was just a friend...I believed him. He filed for divorce and everything....it will be final on August 6th. His explanation on that is that he needs a break from the old relationship so we can start over....the vows of the old relationship were broken and when we work things out we can remarry and renew those vows. I expect him to dump me again after he gets the D....I don't understand his way of thinking on that one.....I feel if you want something to work...you work on it not divorce. Male opinions on this one please....Anyway, a couple of times since we have been seeing each other again I have caught him in little white lies....stupid little things that he thought would cause a fight and he wanted to avoid. A female friend rode with him to his mom's lakehouse and he didn't say anything because he didn't want me to think there was something going on.....I figured it out. I didn't even question them having anything going on, but it hurt that he didn't trust in me enough to be honest. He feels I should trust him....even after the seperation and all its lies because he is "telling the truth" about how he feels now....nevermind that he lied for months. He is working every weekend and out of town....3 nights a week he has to work until 10 PM so the only nights we see each other is Sun. from 7 PM til I leave for work at 10:30 and Monday night the same hours. I am a little upset by this because it has been going on for over a month. My insecurities make me wonder if he isn't trying to get away from me. On those weekends he is with his mom and stepdad(family business)...and when he has HIS boys they get to go with him to work, but he will not invite me and my children to go....this is an issue for us right now and I don't know how to deal with it and can't get him to see my point of view. So work is a problem....he reasures me, but he doesn't understand he reassured me and lied to me about us the whole time he was having a relationship with her. I ask that he call me on the weekends when he is gone....just a quick 2 minute call to say hi and make sure he is okay....he doesn't call me and he doesn't carry his phone on him( bad signals in the mountains ), but he does check his messages and never returns my calls. I decided that I will not call him anymore on weekends. I don't know what he will do. I find myself checking up on him or did....I quit a couple of weeks ago, but before then I was checking his phone to see who he talked to or driving by work to see if he was where he was suppossed to be...I told him this last week so that I was not being dishonest with him and he had a cow about my not trusting him...well...DUH!! Then other things came out....I call him during the day to make sure he has lunch( sometimes he is the only one at the office and can't leave) so I call to see if he needs me to bring him something.....he said that when I call he feels I am checking up on him...same thing when he is out of town on weekends. He wants me to totally trust him...how can I do this?? Anyway....trust is a huge issue....he says he wants to be with me and I know I want to be with him, but man this is hard! I know at least once a week I wonder if it is worth all the heartache, but I love him so much and I know in my heart it is the right thing....it is still the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. I need any advice that I can get....how do I trust him? I feel like I need so much reassurance in how he feels....I constantly tell him I love him...I email him....buy him cards an he doesn't. He tells me he loves me, but that's about it. He has bought me flowers once....I am beginning to think I need to read the book about love languages. Anyway...sorry for the long and jumbled post, but my thoughts are the same way.....Thanks in advance....
