I think you need to think more like the Little Engine That Could.? And not give up... just keep chugging along.... Physical touch may be her LL? You are making progress Cinco... All my best, ~Ava
Ava - Acts of Service are her LL. Remember I gave her the LL survey? It probably was my act of washing up the cat's behind for her that did the trick that day. Ever try to give a cat a bath? It can be quite an experience I'm here to tell you. LMAO
Come on Cinco I am LMAO!!! Washing cats AZZ? An hour massage... you were kidding right? There is no comparison.... but yeah I get the point.... All I can say is I am very happy for you. Hey wash the cats AZZ everday if it works~ Just kidding ... Love ya, Ava
and PS ~ Stillhope, I get hit on all the time ( the bank, the grocery store, even the damn Car wash!!!!) so you are going to have to wait in line for your Medal of Honor .... there is no reward for that. It is a given if you are married to be loyal. For better for worse in sickness and in health.....
..... and physical beauty? That fades with time. It is what is on the inside that counts,, ~Honey, you really need to do a lot of work and reading. Cause when you have intimate, connected Married sex , infused with love and passion? IT is the hottest F*cking sex there is hands down. PURE BLISS~
Dont believe me? Work your a** off for a few years ( 2 steps forward and then 3 back and then brush your knees off and keep on trying) and when you finally have it? Let me know... It will knock your socks off. ( Stop being pissy at others and start working your ass off , it takes a Real Man to work his ass off and feeling sorry for yourself will get you nowhere.....) The only person you can change is you... and if you genuinely do it... MIRACLES AWAIT YOU. Life is full of trials... it is up to you .... one person can save a Marriage. All my best , ~Ava
Ava - Yes, I was kidding about the cat wash being what turned her on, I'm sure that hour-long massage is what really did it. That and my no expectations attitude, I've really been working on that.
It is true that I washed the cat though. I think he ate a frog and it really didn't agree with him. He was sick for a couple of days and yuck.... what a mess. Thankfully he's feeling all better now.
Stillhope - Ava is right. I never in would have thought that I could feel a connection like this with my wife again. It has been a struggle to get to the point I am now and it IS worth it to feel that with her again. We are far from having a completely repaired marriage. Each little reward along the way makes me see that it is possible though and keeps me going.
Once you decide to really give the gift of yourself to your wife, you will be on your way. It all starts by learning what YOU need to do to make the changes to start turning things around. She will begin to respond to the changes you are making once she sees that they are really happening. You can do this.
Once you decide to really give the gift of yourself to your wife, you will be on your way. It all starts by learning what YOU need to do to make the changes to start turning things around. She will begin to respond to the changes you are making once she sees that they are really happening. You can do this.
Exactly!
The most effective way to change your marriage for the better is to change YOURSELF for the better (and the way you treat your spouse).
-- B.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
A HUGE WHOPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE for you both. So glad that you had a good day and some progress. See, baby steps :P . Take it a day at a time.
Well that's the thing !! I HAVE made the change - two years ago ! - at least the ones that she told me she wanted. The issue is she has not responded even though she achnowledges my efforts. I'll explain more over on my thread.
That is great Cinco. Nice to here.
P.S. - I'm in a better mood today.... my drought stretch ended last night and she initiated.
No walking yesterday, today and tommorow anyway. I'm busy moving mom into her new assisted living apartment. It's really nice too. A very nice view of the lake that's here in town. She has made such great progress and is now able to walk a good distance.
I'll be back to *my* walking next week again.... until the dreaded vasectomy on Friday. Don't think I'll be walking for a while after that.
It can be quite an experience I'm here to tell you. LMAO 
That and my no expectations attitude, I've really been working on that.
He was sick for a couple of days and yuck.... what a mess. Thankfully he's feeling all better now.
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