Unless we tell them how we are hurting inside, make them understand that we want to touch and be touched, they won't know. It all starts with showing them affection instead of anger. Cinco
Cinco, From what I read so far, I sound alot like your w and you sound alot like my H. That being said, the diff right now between you and my H is that he has not acknowledge that we have a SSM and that that is one of the reasons we are in the sitch that we are. You seem to have found this place on your own, in an attempt to try to R your M.
Let me run this by you (hope its not TMI and I am using some very generic verbage, so PM me if you don't understand): (****THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE HAVE ML SINCE HE RETURNED HOME 2 WEEKS AGO) So, we get up yesterday morning, I was up first (always am) I got kids up and made coffee. Everyone comes down. H gives me a kiss, I get DD on the bus. DS wants me to take him to school so I agree. Throw on some sweats and take him up there. I go back to the house. H is in bed, he had all the pillows arranged so I could be closer to him. So I get in. It was awkward. We watch the news for awhile. He rubs my neck a little. So, basically we do what we normally do. Although he usually has more "control" over things, so that we are both satisfied. Not this time, although, ummm, things did not stay as "firm" as usual.
So that was it, I was not, umm, satisfied, so I, umm, try something else that usually helps, especially on a second try. And it did, temporarily, again not as umm, "solid" as usual. Luckily it didn’t take long for me to, ummm, "enjoy" things but that was it. Then it went completely, umm, flaccid.
So, I am perplexed. He has RARELY had issues like this, although, the last few times before he left, he had similar issues and I was like, WTF? Not very sympathetic about it. But let me say this, I can't help but feel inadequate about this. And, of course, there is the spector of "possible OW I am competing with". His claim yesterday was that he was "out of practice" and "out of shape".
So I don’t really know how to handle this. I did not push him about why it happened. I want it to be as good as it used to be. I suppose there could be many things at play here: Age (he just turned 43), confidence, the "out of practice" and "out of shape".
Cinco, He has not told me he is hurt in this "department", do you think I should ask him about it or would that offend him more? Or should try being more "loving" toward him?
