Trying2live-Post #4

[Trying2live]

Hope,
Ya know I say the 4 days is really good, I'm proud of you. I know its hard but growth is happening in you as well, its also helping you to release and trust God if that makes sense. Your going to get to a great place of growth where yeah things might hurt and be frustrating as all crap but your going to not be as moved by them, but instead be ruled by the peace of God in the midst of it. I'm sure whether you see it or not he's feeling it. The time is good for him to think about things and sometimes that can only happen when no one is around for you to blame.

This can go to everyone who has pulled back and is considering re-establishing communication again with their spouse. I really would base that decision on how you feel you can handle it. Ask your self these questions, If I open up the lines of communication can I have NO EXPECTATIONS? Can I NOT talk about the R or the OW. Can I remain neutral and cheerful despite what is going on? Will I be able to NOT be his conscience or try to bring reasoning? Will I be able to state that DD17(or children) is really hurting and quickly move on to another subject and let him deal with that relationship? And when the communication is done can I walk away feeling ok.

I know it sounds like a lot, but the object is not to create further removal of Love Bank Deposits(SAA book) when you have interactions with spouse. If you think you can't handle the above wait a little longer. you have absolutely to be in a place of personal strength and neutrality, really mastery over our own souls-and mouths LOL, to be able to do what is necessary.

You need to get to a place where you are NOT ruled by your emotions, I know that sounds crazy but what we are doing(fighting for our marriages) is tactical and all out war. You have to look at it from this perspective. In a war things are done strategically and not from emotion. We all have to get to this place so we can execute the best battle plans to achieve the best results. I know this sounds really crazy but I am not kidding.

The bible says 1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Devour what? How about your marriage?

SAA and DR are tactical plans to help you win or at least have a fighting chance(along with much prayer) to have our marriages back. They must be held, in my humble opinion, In high regard and utilized. Both of these books and prayer together are your weapons. Use your weapons efficiently. I have no clue why I am saying this stuff, maybe someone needs this info. Gosh I sure hope so LOLOLOLOL