My first piece of advice is still relevant. What is it you want? You can't have what you don't know you want. Or as Dr. Phil would say, "If you can't name it, you can't claim it."
There's no reason to feel shame. I can understand your fear.
But with all the back-and-forth that's gone on in this relationship, the monkey is on your back so to speak.
Quote:
One yr later I find that playboy bunny is not the beauty inside that I saw on the outside, the only great thing we have in common is sex nothing else, I now decided that I no longer want this woman, I want my wife back: GUESS WHAT? My wife is now twenty pounds lighter looking like a million dollars, dating, and looking like she’s having a ball , the more I see her the more I want her back. I feel like the BIGGEST LOOSER in the world, I worked so hard to get my wife back, I just turned around and gave her away, to make things worse she served me with divorce papers 3 weeks ago.
To turn this back on you, in order to make yourself question and reason this through: What do you want your wife to see in you? From my female perspective, I just see a bag of contradictions right now. I know that sounds harsh, but you may need to see things from her perspective.
You wanted to save your M once before and it looks like you were succeeding. Then you back slid....big time. You got comfy in the M and you got bored. Why did this happen? What do you need to change? What DB tactic(s) worked before?
