no expectations 9

[peacetoday]

THanks everyone for stopping by
I am to see the L tomorrow

H over tonight
so I brought it up the D
I asked is this what you want
he said yes
he talked a little about the paperwork and his accountant helped him do it and he mentioned I really dont make that much after you deduct all the expenses

so I (2X4)
began to question him and I mentioned again how he never gave us a second chance
he still rambled on about how
-we already tried and went to MC 4 years ago
-How CONTROLLING I was
-How we fought over the fact that I ddnt want him to get a dog 4 years ago(the same dog I now have custody of)
-how he wants to be with someone who will treat him like an equal( I guess a 21 year year old might be a good choice then)

I mentioned that he doesnt look very happy and now he has high Blood pressure and high cholestryl
he said He will be HAPPY when all this is done!
he seemed confused and would not take any responsibility for creating this mess
he left and said it was MY fault
the kids cried
what a mess

and I dont know if I can stall the D
It seems H fgilled out all the paperwork and with the court pushing us to a meeting, this may be it
I will ask my L if we could stall till after holidays
but truthfully
I dont see how it would do any good
If H wanted to stay together-he would initiate some effort
he still thinks that whatever he doing is what he wants and needs
and doesnt realize
his weight gain
high blood pressure
confusion
decreased business
has anything to do with his choices.
He still chases happiness as if it is something he will GET after this D
I am so tired and tonight got super messy..
I just wnated to talk to him and I forget he is no longer there-peace