Stillhope - No problem, I do really have more to be thankful for than I sometimes see for myself. I do know how it feels to be in your shoes. We went for a time when we ML twice a year for a few years and then once a year. It IS totally frustrating when you can't get your spouse to join you and connect with and see how much you are hurting.
Ok now onto the progress report. Yesterday we were both GALing and doing our own things. She now has time to knit a new pair of socks so she was doing that most of the day. I washed a sick cat's butt (don't ask), applied for some more job postings and did some paperwork for my mom. In the evening I was listening to some music and noticed W had gone to bed but had left the light on. She may have been reading.
I decided to wrap up my listening time to join her. I really had no expectations; I just wanted to lie next to her before we both fell asleep. I am going to bed with her whenever she does now, or at least as often as possible. When I came into the room she turned the light off, not sure if she was waiting for me or it was just a coincidence. The TV was on and she was watching an old movie. It had just started so I joined her to watch.
Sometimes W has lower back pain around her tailbone area and I noticed she was rubbing herself there. I offered to rub for her and kept on rubbing until she felt better (about 15 mins). I caressed and massaged her back and arms for another 20 mins or so.
Then I flipped around so I could rub her feet. It's still fairly warm here so we were on top of the covers. I remembered what Jayce said about the nerves in the feet being connected to the same part of the female brain as the clitoris. "Hmmm wonder if it's true", I thought to myself. Massaged her feet and legs for about 30 mins or so, really concentrating on her arches.
I rubbed and caressed her back and arms some more until the movie was over. She seemed very relaxed and comfortable with my touching her. You could say we'd just had about an hour and a half of foreplay. When the movie ended and she turned the TV off, she turned to me for a kiss.
We were both very much primed and ready but still took things very slowly. I was amazed at how turned on she had become. (Since we weren't in hurry-up mode I guess.) Maybe there is something to that foot/clit connection? I know Jayce is now wondering about lube. I'm not sure any was even needed but I used saliva and made sure there was plenty while I was...um down there. Also added more to... myself before ML.
Ok here is one of the best parts, she actually told me how to position myself so she would be most comfortable. THIS IS HUGE Y'ALL! She rarely talks at all during ML and for her to tell me what to do... WOW, it's a big step forward. Now comfortable and feeling just right, ML to her husband while he knew how to touch and kiss her in just the right places and just the right ways, she had a huge O.
I know this because I could feel her contractions while still inside of her. I don't even remember the last time that happened. I'm so happy that we got to share this. I'm not writing to brag but if you had asked me if I would ever get to experience this with my wife again, even a few days ago, I would have said it was very doubtful. Very slowly, with lots of tiny steps forward (and backwards) we may finally be getting to where our passion for each other is returning.
Last night may have started out as her allowing me to touch her because she knows it pleases me. What ended up happening is that she got to feel how good it really can be for us. We just need to allow ourselves the time to relax and enjoy one another. It took us back to a time when we had our whole lives ahead of us, no cares in the world, only each other to please and enjoy. That is all I want for us. I know I want to return to that place again and again. Maybe she has seen a glimpse of what I have been hoping for her to see for so long.
