A, You sound good. I'm glad you spoke to your lawyer and I didn't think your requests were unreasonable either. There are just some things that commons sense prevails on, i.e., no showing of the house when your daughter is home alone, etc.
As for the health insurance, your h, like most of them, was expecting you to carry him as a member for a very long time. They don't think about the consequences of their actions when they do these things. They still expect us to take care of them, etc., and that's just not the way like works and he'll find out quite soon.
As for the chicken, I don't think it's guilt, so much as smoothing the way to being friends and shoving things under the rug. Many of them will do something nasty or negative and then smooth things over by doing something nice. Your h knows you got the letter, therefore, he wants to make things nice w/"mom". It's a pattern w/most of them.
Enjoy the rest of your week. You've finally detached enough that you can see exactly what's what in your situation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
