we just hit 11 months

[cat03]

hon, Marcum, you are trying to keep her married to you by not cutting off the finances, all that gets you is her going on shopping sprees and living it a 'la single.
You should be tying up financial ends, lots of good DBers her got screwed royally by not taking care of themselves in an attempt to not rock the boat.

I understand now that it is harder on men, despite telling me how he had to learn to live alone and not depend on someone stbx has gotten himself a gf, despite that he is still a mess and that ow's mess was just 3mins ago.
With that i will tell you that you have to train your brain to move on, the good peaceful feelings wont' come unless you conjure good and peaceful feelings first thing in the morning.
I used to get up and if I saw a beautiful day through my window I'd hurt and think "it's a day I could've enjoyed with him", it was like that week after week. Then I forced myself to think every morning "what a beautiful day! I will enjoy it and have a great day!", and guess what? eventually my heart caught up, I changed my brain paths from negative to positive.
We all make grooves in our brains with either positive or negative thoughts, negative thoughts are easier to come up and harder to get rid of, but it can be done, you can retrain your mind to stay positive. To claim your life back and be happy with who Marcum is what a good person you are, someone who has lots to bring to the table.
Prayers your way friend))))