Maybe I should be in piecing part 2?

[Hope4us]

I know you and WDID think there's still contact. And you could be right. A big part of me thinks so. But I also think it's platonic in her mind. It's a problem if that's so and that's where I was going in my statement that I'm going to give her all the time she needs to figure it out until I can't give anymore. And if I look at it, the way she's been the last couple months makes me think she is NC but has the occasional trigger that sets her back. I just see us making more and more progress and if that's going on, then I see whatever contact there still might be going away.

Maybe I'm just a fool. But right now, until she's ready to talk and commit, I just have to act "as if" she's not talking to OM.

Look at it this way...worst case scenario, she has "some" contact. It's possible that she does have triggers that set her back on occasion. You are being smart by giving her time to figure it out. If she "slips" she probably feels like an idiot...in fact I'd be sure of it.

What's in your favor is that this guy is a horse's ass. He can do nothing but disappoint her anyway! SO, even the worst case scenario will help you...as you become a better H, and this guy will slowly reveal himself to be who he really is...maybe some occasional contact will include some 2x4's.

She will have her own days of How the F could I fall for that? Pleasant feeling....not.

Thanks Break. I know you're new to my thread so let me tell you a few more details from probably 5 or so versions ago.

Back in July OMW told me she was going to subpoena me in her divorce trial. I went home and told W about it. W asked why I needed to do that and I told her OM was contesting his W filing on the grounds of adultery. My W said "duh". She then said "I didn't know anything about that". I told her I believed her. I asked when was the last time she talked to OM and she said a while ago and that he'd moved on.

So this exchange happened.

Me: Yes, he has moved on. In fact, OMW is pretty sure he had another GF last fall when you were still seeing him (blank look from W).
W: I don't know anything about that.
Me: As long as we're sharing, remember last Oct when OM was going home to talk to his W about a D so you could D me and you guys could be together?
W: (looking down at the floor says softly), I don't know what you're talking about.
Me: Well, you remember the weekend he told you he was going home in Oct?
W: I know he went home in late Oct.
Me: No he didn't. OMW told me he was home a weekend in Sept and then not until Thanksgiving, so he was lying to you about getting a divorce so you could be together.
W: (very softly looking at the floor) I don't know anything about that.

From that day for the next week or so, W was spending lots of time in the bedroom alone. A couple weeks later we went to Disney as a family and had a great time. Things began improving.

about the beginning of Sept, W did something (I don't even remember what) and I told her I couldn't keep going without even a commitment that she wanted to try. She sent me an email telling me the A was all my fault etc. I sent her a basic F you response. From that day forward things have been better and better. Then in late Oct we went to Disney, just the two of us (met another couple there for a few days) and a few days into the trip we ML for the first time in 14 months. And it wasn't just once. Multiple times and it continued when we got back home. But her first day back to work she changed. Moved back to the couch. I'm suspecting that after the trip she got scared and contacted OM, but that's an assumption, but it seems right because she was definitely different for a week, but then the weekend came and she changed again and it's been good since.

So Break, in your opinion (and anyone else that wants to comment), was she NC for about 3 months and we started to connect and it scared her and she contacted him when we got back and she was in a funk for a week or so but then we had another great weekend together and she's back to NC now?