How to start from scratch in 12 Mos Separation ?

[SingleDad]

Faith - I still keep some hope even though it is bleaker and bleaker each day. I am in reality or it wouldn't hurt so much.

My STBXW and I just exchanged some harsh and angry words both by e mail and phone over her boyfriend sleeping over while our daughter is there (cleaned up for this forum), bad habits to our daughter, morals and honesty, etc.

I feel so bad and angry and hurt - but this is also the mother of my daughter and I hate things to be so hurtful. so I sent her another e-mail with a different tone:

"Obviously I love you and have loved you or none of this would be affecting me so much

I want to be friends with you, especially for the sake of our daughter... but I do not know how right now

I do not agree with the path you have chosen... I strongly believe our daughter will be adversely affected by your decision for the rest of her life - similar to the impact my father's suicide had on me... and your parents' divorce on you. My father was selfish in taking his life - not understanding that his actions affected and changed the future of everyone around him - it wasn't all about him alone. The same thing is true of Divorce.

I do not know how to work things out with you or if is is even possible while you have a boyfriend or if too many bridges have been burned and there will never be any turning back.

I wish we could have gone through marraige counseling... I think you gave up to quickly on me and our marriage - things were not that bad for that long. Or at least given me a chance after I now know the consequences.

You have made a life changing decision - You are caught up with someone else and has clouded you to the point where all you have is bad memories of me and our time together. Things couldn't have been that bad or you wouldn't have married me after 3 1/2 years of dating and then actively deciding to bring a child into this world together. I do understand that our viewpoints clashed to the point where we did not treat each other the way we both deserve to be treated. I am truly sorry for my part of that failure - if I could take it all back I would.

Your decision impacts more than your life - it drastically changes Brooke's and mine as well. I wish you could truly understand that

I have been given no choice but to live my life, or what is left of it, and take a new direction

Hopefully in the future - we can learn from our mistakes and make things right again.

Love, "


Daily I just wish this whole thing would just end - but I know it won't... as we do have a daughter between us.