I am a firm believer in "what goes around comes around". It is UNFAIR and UNFORTUNATE and seems so UNJUST that the K's are caught in the middle of this cr@p.
Here is something from a letter I wrote to W back in September:
"The last few months in our house have been anything but enjoyable. I do not see how they could be enjoyable for you, they have not been enjoyable for me and a part that I find really bothersome is that they HAVE NOT BEEN ENJOYABLE FOR OUR CHILDREN. I believe that the summer of 2008 is one that they will forever want to vanish from their memory. Sad. As a family we are to be creating memories for our kids and we are - but they are memories that they will not cherish.
I do not like what is happening to our children. They are being affected, and I firmly believe in more ways than we know or we can see. I do not believe the kids "will be fine". They will deal with things in a manner that they need to and they will cope, but they will never be fine. You may disagree, but I am not willing to take that gamble on the 3 lives we have been entrusted to raise and nurture. They get one chance at being a child / teen, and what we are providing right now is certainly not giving them the best opportunity to learn, grow or enjoy these years."
The result of this - NOT A DAMN THING! Didn't expect it to have an impact and at least the expectations were met. The K's don't fit the "all about me" mindset.
Stay strong for those K's - and for you!
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
LIS, I already know that she doesn't give a flip about how the kids feel. For her, it's about how the kids make HER feel when she chooses to be around them.
She never calls to check on them; even this morning when I saw her for a WHOLE 5 min.; she didn't ask how the kids were doing. I doubt she's even seen the parent/teacher conference appt. hanging on the 'frig. The appt. is tomorrow.
Thanks for letting me read that letter. It was very well stated. and TRUE. But she'd never take that to heart either.
Thanks for stopping by and I am standing strong for them and I know that they know it.
oh great letter!! it may not get thru, but I have found making them read things is easier than making them listen when we talk. it might be worth a try.
hey there mr man, just cause i like the steelers, hehehe, you better watch out lol!!! i am watching you..........
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Hi MC: Just as others have already said, keep the focus on you and the kids. No one is responsible for what goes on in your W's mind other than your W - and she will have to come to terms with her actions at some point in her life - but that's not up to you anymore.
It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job for the kids - keeping things together in an impossible situation - and making sure that they get the kind of love they need.
I've thought sometimes about writing a letter about the situation to my W - but I don't think she's in a place to process it - such a letter wouldn't be about her - and these days everything seems like it has to be about her for it to make sense to her.
So I talked with her g.father today; he asked my SIL to tell me that he wanted to talk with me.
I called him and he wanted my personal info because he buys savings bonds for the kids every Christmas. In the past he's always put them with the W's info; but in light of the sitch and her trustworthiness being lacking, he wants to start sending them with my info instead.
He told me that she was at his house last night. Bet she was looking for money. He's her choice of last resort for money. He just told me to put in the Lord and take it one day at a time.
It was interesting to learn that she was out there to say the least. Could be that she was looking for money to pay a L. Of no consequence if that's what she wants.
