I think in some measure your right. I think I'm a pretty strong person and one of the things that got my marriage into the state it is, is that per her I am not supportive enough of her. I let lots of things roll off my back - she doesn't. She delves into the meaning of them and why and has repeatedly criticized me that I don't. I'm "avoiding the issue or denying it's a problem". I don't think I am - but she does and is sure of it. She seems to want me to react and feel about things like her as apposed to how I do it naturally.
Neither of our lives revolve around each other and never has. I did think we were partners but over the last few years we aren't so much anymore. Now we mostly have our own lives but live in the same house. I don't think there is a lot of GAL-ing that I can do more than already exists. What I need to somehow do is regain her trust. She has told me straight out she doesn't trust me in several life areas many times - including taking care of my own kids which I did before I met her and don't need her for at all so am insulted by. As things feel now, it seems she has come to the conclusion that she won't trust me in those areas again so has closed the door on giving me a chance to regain any trust. I will continue to aplogize and admit my mistakes as I have done the last several years. Hasn't made a difference though so far. If I do the opposite and stop trying that she will interpret it as I don't care that I "hurt" her emotionally any more and throw in the towel. She has stated several times in the last year that she is doing that. So "standing firm" I'm not sure is a good way to go. I've done that maybe too much. I will think on it though....
I do want to stay with her - but the stress of our relationship is crushing us both I think and I also think neither of us like it or will accept it to continue. We both know we don't need each other and will be fine apart. The issue right now is I think both of us are regularly thinking apart would be better.
