TIPPER'S 3rd thread - Piecing Pointers

[Laurie]

Tipper,
So, just to restate your next steps:

#1 - Have H get a bit more consistent about bringing up moving back.
Ways to encourage that:
a. discuss buying and fixing G'mas house

and (I am adding this)

b. begin or continue to behave and relate in ways that
helped get us back together before
**You have gotten back together 2 times before, is that right? If so, I'd like to hear what you did that helped him want to come home those previous times. That will offer clues as to how to answer #1.b.

#2 Tipper, finish this sentence:
Instead of blowing me off he would do/say or would not do/say _____.
Goal #2 seems to describe what actions you are considering doing. If you were successful at those actions, what response from H would you be wanting to get? Also, could you give me a specific example of what he is doing when he blows you off?

#3 Have 4-5 quality nights together
How many nights have you been together (on the average) the last 2 weeks?
What does it mean to have quality nights with H? What is happening on those nights and what is not happening that make those nights good?

Tipper, please continue to help clarify and we'll continue our talk!

By the way, from looking at some of your posts, it sounds like both of you have managed to heal the relationship a number of times - that is great and it says a lot. Also, you seem to have been very patient and enduring in the midst of your H's drinking history. I don't fully understand the extent of his history and how that impacts you and your relationship, but I certainly hear your high level of commitment in this relationship. You have my respect and support!

Take care, Laurie