the mlc files--I want to believe

[hoosiermama]

Hi again, Dawn--

Then a month or so after the bomb last year, he told me he wasn't sure he believed in God, and even if he did, he wasn't sure he cared what God thought. That was the thing that shocked me most about this whole thing, but my pastor told me this was common for MLC/adulterers.

I have no idea what H really believes. I truly never put it all together before the bomb, but knowing him well and having had many theological talks with him over the years--it seems to be all external. All what serves him. And this A is just a furthering of that--so I doubt it challenges his "faith." I know, I know--he was a monk for almost 2 years. And I would have loved to be around to see that from the inside of the monastery, because introspection is not his forte. I really think it was about living the priesthood-like life as completely as possible (before being ordained) and being in a place of safety when my life was rather less than safe. And yeah--the celibacy thing. He dated when he was in the seminary, hung onto a relationship with me as long as he could (fence-sitting or cake-eating, whatever) in the monastery (but hey, I may be the only woman ever to ring the bells there!). And ironically, our marriage became pretty darn celibate.

That's really too bad--I was looking forward to giving him 'what for' on your behalf!!

Oh, feel free to go on over anyway. The whole family has been squirrely. Knock some sense into them.

I lived in Chesterfield between graduating college and marrying H, then moved to our current home, about 20 minutes away! Small world...! Y'know, I've had a lot of clients who live in Chesterfield, and I go to church there, too...wonder if I've met your relatives??!

Yeah, maybe in one of those little gourmet grocery/deli stores.

Thank you so much! I am grateful for all I can get! I don't know what else to tell you, because I think you are doing the best you can under the circumstances, but the circumstances are just...ugly! Just want to let you know that you have my support!

Thank you!

Peace and all good to you.