The results are in...Dust myself off & start again

[Treese]

Morning all......thank you all for believing in me....your posts brought tears to my eyes...as TOH said....everything about my H is true and I do need to move forward for me but truly it doesnt make the pain any better....in my heart I believe I will be okay..hoping that all the visuals in my head will diminish in time...that my sadness turns into hope for the future of my children and myself...it is going to be a rough road but I have to let him go....I can't let him destroy me like he is destroying his own life....

My boss, who I just adore...told me yesterday that he is truly amazed at the love and devotion I have for my children...and how I stuck by my H through all of this...that meant the world to me..he also said that whatever I needed to come to him and he will try and help me...my job is safe...my kids are safe...I have wonderful family and friends, and all of you....you are my safe place...without it I would have crashed...I think Dry Heat and Sandy get the brunt of my crashing world since I can call them on the phone sobbing...thank you both of you...all of you here..wow...snodderly, TOH, Di, BA...Yellowrose who I've adopted as a second mother...LOL!! and MWG...cause you've been through it....and too many others to name....if you look at all that, wow, we have quite the support system...and guess what...

I've been able to use what I've learned from you all to help a friend going through all this with her fiance....and I did quite well....and all along listening to my own advice...I told them about letting them go, not pressuring, not begging, etc...and it's working...gotta love that...

I do have bad days right now but it's the shock, the "I can't believe my life is here"....but I'll be okay...I have to be...I have kids who need the sane parent...even though there are days I want to run away...to not hear "mom"....I stop and think some day I'll be begging to hear my name from my kids....they are my future and I want to teach them whats right from whats not acceptable...and when I have friends telling me what wonderful kids I have, I smile....cause I've done most of the raising of respectable children....Virtual...I am a good mom...and I have more love to give...some day someone will sweep me off my feet and I will know the true meaning of love and respect...

So, today..I am home...S11 is sick....and I'm a single parent...I will just sit and cuddle with him and tell him how much I love him....he eats that up...

D16 is doing much better....afraid now to get her license but I told her she has to get back out there and just do it...of course inside I'm panicked but she'll be fine....

To all my divorce busting friends......God Bless you all!!

((((hugs))))

Treese