the mlc files--I want to believe

[hoosiermama]

Hoozh -
some different perspective. I asked for 50/50 time with my kids and her response to me was "it's not good for their stability."

This to me is complete nonsense, because stability means a stable family with parents that work things out. But she is actually arguing that it is more stable for the kids if there are fewer "transitions", which means fewer times visiting me, which means less time with me.

So it is almost like I am the guy on the other side from you.

I want my kids but will not turn them into a tug-o-war rope. I will not.

Hi, Sir.

Gosh, I said almost the same thing to H. He chose to live across town--so it's at least a half-hour drive, longer during rush hour. I said I found it confusing and difficult to keep up with her schoolwork and activities (I was always the one who did that, not him) and difficult for her. I really think he's requesting this so that he doesn't have to pay support, tho--he only saw her once or twice a week over the summer, really only had her 3 days a week a couple of times so far because he cancelled out. And he knows I can't make it without support (which is why I'm not making it now). And then he asked me what I thought was fair.

Like you, complete nonsense. What's fair is that he tell OW to take a hike and come on back home where he belongs so that he can spend as much time with D as he wants, as a family. What's fair is that he puts her at the top of his list, rather than OW and playing in his band. What's fair is that he would have told me he was unhappy before leaving and saying "it's too late now, you should have known."

H even said that I was trying to decrease his time with her because I told him he shouldn't have her on Tuesday nights because of church Christmas choir (7-9 pm). I reminded him that I suggested he have her on a weekend day (or night--whatever) instead so they could have more time together. Oh, yeah--he did remember that. And appreciates it. See--he only remembers the negative parts.

I don't want her turned into a tug-of-war rope either. But I've lost so much else lately because of H's profoundly selfish choices--I don't want to lose my daughter half the time too. And no, I don't think that's best for her.