Early Lessons from a Divorcee!

[thegoodfight]

Going to lurk and occasionally post in this forum now!
Took a long break, for me and I feel better, I wanted to share a few experiences with those of you moving here or those that have been here.

1. If you expect things to get better communication wise after you are divorced, you may be in for a rude awakeing!

2. If your spouse demonstrated a lack of respect for you when you were married, do not expect an improvement after divorce

3. Divorce unlike many think, does not heal wounds, you heal wounds not a change in status.

4. Transparenting courses are great but if you both don't heed their advice it is just more words and does not have any positive impact.

5. You still can only control your actions and you are responsible for how your X spouses actions impact your feelings

6. Chances are if you are reading this, you had to play the hero in the midst of a dying marriage and guess what you can't ever stop playing the role of hero if you have children with your X.

7. DBing is really about you and learning how to be happy and strong on your own, it can help you repair or save relationships but mostly it is designed to help you sharpen the tools to save yourself from dispair.

8. Take the relationship principles and all you have learned and apply it and live it in your next relationship it works absolute wonders. In other words if you use this as preventive instead of reactive these principles are almost guarenteed to work.

9. Anyone can benefit from learning a little more about themselves.

10. God works in mysterious ways, we don't always understand it but most everything has its purpose! We should have faith in his plan!