Last night H was in school, so didn't get home until 11 PM. I was in bed, where we chatted just a little bit about non-serious things like movies, and painting, and the pets. H did mention us working on the yard this weekend, so that was positive since he sees me being around over the weekend. There was one time where he was just silent and laid there for a few minutes. I started to get pretty nervous as it seemed like he was thinking about something, and am pretty sure it was R related since it always seems to be. I just closed my eyes and tried to sleep when he was being like that.
Then, about an hour after turning off the light, he initiated ML again. No affection afterwards or anything, but we did lay so that our arms were sort of touching.
This is really, really weird. I mean I think things are going quite well, but there has been no conversation about anything R related. I am fine with this, and would like to see if things continue to improve, but at some point there is going to have to be a real conversation about whether we go to MC, the living sitch etc. I fear that he could panic and say something negative too, so I am letting him completely take the lead on this one. I'm trying my hardest just to be myself, but without talking about any contentious topics. Sometimes it feels pretty superficial, but I do think it's good that we seem to be having more conversations in general. It also must be good that there is ML again. I mean it happened 2 nights in a row, and he hadn't been drinking, so even though I would not ask him about this, I am going to believe this means he feels closer to me...
OK well today is a "normal" day where we both have work and nothing afterwards. It will be interesting to just come home afterwards and see what it's like. Fingers crossed that we can continue avoiding R talks!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
