For the Guy with Kids and a WW Diciotto

[hopeful4her]

I'm back. And exhausted. A long, emotional weekend. For more reasons than the funeral, of course.

Thank ya'll so much for the concern.

Too tired to go into too much detail. Of course, I start a lot of my posts saying that.

The wife and I had a short conversation that maybe it was better not to take the girls to the funeral. I'm decided to leave for Laredo Saturday night. After getting D7 to my parents, I find out my sister is off on Monday, so she offered to take care of the kids until getting them off to school on Monday, so that I could stay for the funeral. So I take off for Laredo at about 6pm Saturday. The wife had called me as I was getting ready at the house and I told her my plans. She said to just call her when I get in. I can bunk with her and her sister in the room.

When I finally get there, the wife is making plans to go eat with some family and is inviting me. She is holding her cousin's two year old. The wife and I got a thing for babies. She is showing him to me and I'm right there caressing the baby and we are both saying how beautiful the baby is. We are telling each other.

"OOhhhhh. I love him. This is just what I needed. I big hug."

In the room, I find out that SIL had intended to only stay Friday and leave first thing Saturday morning, but she changed her mind to be there for her sister. But she brought not clothes with her. She wants to just drive back to San Antonio, pick up some clothes and come right back. Maybe 5 hours round trip. She only spent $10 in gas to get there, so she figured it was cheaper than buying new clothes. She says she is broke though. The wife too. She says that her and my wifes account is like down to nothing. I give her $20 for gas and I go meet wife downstairs.

She is faxing something to the funeral home. Standing there with her, she takes a call.

"Hi.....going out to eat with some family.....yeah.....I'm ok.......ok......I'll call you later.......yes, I'll call you later........I'll talk to you later.......yes, Roger is here........I'll call you later."

Nice start. Could only one person.

I offer to drive to the Micky D that the cousin wants to go to. Just her and I. I tell her that SIL decided to to get clothes so I gave her $20.

"What? Why did you give her $20?"
"She said she was broke. That both of you were broke."
"I was going to pull out some money to give her. And why was she telling you that? Why did that come up in conversation."
"I'm not even sure" I tell her.

Man, her defenses were up quick. She tells me to go on in, she is going to call her sister. I play it cool. I leave her outside and go in and order an ice cofee. She follows about 5 minutes later. She asks if I ordered. I say I just wanted a coffee.

"Are you hungry. Do you want to order something?" she ask me.
I look at her dead in the eye, "I just wanted a coffee." I repeated again. We go sit down with her young cousins family. I have lot of fun with his 4 year old son. We are talking super hero's. Doing this helped the thaw, I think. They finish their meal and we end up going back. The drive was quiet. Uncomfortable. Like I didn't really know what to say. I think I was still kinda shocked that she took OM's call in front of me. Like she was trying to purposely send a message to me.

We get to the hotel, and SIL has already left. We are alone for pretty much the rest of the night. Stuck there together. I stand and watch the tv for a second and she says she is going to change and hit the bed. She is tired. She tells me to take one bed and her and SIL will sleep together on the other. I say ok. She goes go grab her PJ's and walks toward the bathroom. I take the opportunity to walk to her and block her way. I put out a hand, slip it around her waist, pull her to me, and put my other around high on her back. She completely breaks down. I'm holding her. Squeezing her. Caressing her back, her hair. She is crying and crying. I'm consoling her. We stand there for maybe 5 minutes. Her arms are around my waist. We finally let go, I grab some tissues for her. She gathers herself and goes to change.

It was what we needed. Her laying on one bed and me laying on the other, facing each other, we just start to talk. About everything going on. Her dad. His wife. She described what happened the morning of his passing. An hour later, I'm holding her again while she is laying in bed. Consoling her. She lets me know how hard of an evening she had the night before. After another hour or more talking, she says goodnight and is OUT. I bring out a trash can because she also told me how she was throwing up last night. I change and lay down on the other bed. SIL calls and I talk her into staying and coming back in the morning.

In the morning, I go grab some coffee's for us. I make hers for her, the way she likes it. Back upstairs, I shower, shave and change before she wakes up. We discuss what we would like to get done before the rosary in the evening. She gets a couple calls that she ignores. I couple texts that she ignores. We are talking about her bank account. The hotel is holding some funds and throwing her into the negative. She takes a call from her mother.
"Yes......no.......in separate beds......" They talk for a bit.

We get ready. She says she needs to go check her account on the computer downstairs, so I stay in the room.

She calls me from downswtairs and asks me to come down to grab some breakfast. Eating and a little chit chat. We head back upstairs to watch Joel Osteen. After its over, we talk a little more. She asks a question about transferring money, but then remembers it is Sunday. She gets a call and tells me that she needs to take the call. She head out the door and answers the phone.

At least she went out into the hall. She comes back in, goes into her purse and gives him her account number from a card. She pauses and then she says,

"Thanks. I appreciate it. I said I APPRECIATE IT!.......SH*T!" She walks back out the door. "......I SAID........." Slam!

Her reliable Cheater phone.

She comes back in. I ask her if she is ready to go and we leave. I'm a little quiet, but I get over it. I remind myself to have no expectaions. Besides, the end of that conversation sounded like some trouble.

And for the rest of the time in Laredo, she NEVER once had to open her own door. Anywhere. Car, store, or building. I was there. SIL, too.

We end up going and looking for a flower shop, going to the mall to shop, grabbing a small bite to eat. Finding some clothes for her, which she asks my opinion on. Finding some shirts for me, which I ask HER opinion on. Finding some pants on sale for D7. We go searching for the Funeral home, so that we won't get lost later and head back to the hotel to change clothes. On the way back, she wonders if maybe FIL's obituary is in the Sunday paper. I stop off at a convenience store, grab us some drinks, She gets some candy, and I find the paper. I pay and we leave. We start our usual of people watching and making comments. On the way, she is looking through the paper. Then....

"OH!!!" She begins weeping again. Sobbing. She found it. His obit and picture. I put my arm around her and keep driving. I almost had to pull over but she composed herself again. She is fine by the time we get back to the hotel. Tired, she lays down for a bit on the bed and dozes off. I sit on the sofa and start to doze off, too. I set my phone alarm. As I'm covering her with a sheet from my bed, she wakes up and thanks me.

I wake us up and we start to prepare our clothes and I discover that I forgot my slacks! She says there is a Wallymart down the road, so I haul butt and come back. By this time, SIL is back and getting ready. We all finally get ready and sit to relax a bit. Wifes phone rings again, and again she takes it and walks toward the bathroom area.

SIL starts to talk to me. Telling me this and that. Like she is trying to distract me. I hear a few things.

"Thanks......are you still at work.........yes........yes...." speaking softly. Then she hangs up and comes back, "I do NOT want more drama" she says a bit uptight. She can see that I'm a little upset again. We all leave and walk out to my vehicle. I walk ahead of them and at the car, she asks me, "How do I look?" I tell her she looks just fine and I get in.

I did some more consolling at the rosary. Her sister did a lot too. She actually got in the way more than a couple times. The hardest part for me was being introduced to a lot of family I hadn't met. First as Roger, then later as her her HUSBAND Roger. I found that hard. After the rosary, I kind of stood back and let her be with family. Pictures, talking, memories. It felt like I shouldn't be there. Like why is she saying that I'm her husband.

At one point, before the rosary started, fave aunt come up to her. All I heard was wife sobbing again. They were hugging each other. The wife kept crying. And at one point was wailing, "...BECAUSE I'M SO ASHAMED....."

That was an interesting comment. Later after the rosary, I just hang outside smoking a couple cigs, when they finally come out. She says that the family is meeting at a restaurant. She looks at me and asks me, "Whats the matter?" I tell her nothing is wrong, but she knows me. Inside the car, she asks, "Did you feel out of place?"

"Yeah, a little bit."
"I was introducing you. I think I introduced you to everyone except those last couple of cousins." I didn't tell her that it was the husband part.

I let her know I'm fine. We end up having a very nice evening talking to alot of family. Lots of memories for her. She is sitting next to me and we are both looking at photo's. Shoulder to shoulder and arm to arm. Joking with each other. Laughing together. We head back, and change and she hits the bed again. SIL wants the sofa bed, so I take the bed again.

I know she got some texts that she didn't reply to.

Hmmmm.

I wake up extra early this morning and call my sister at my house. I talk to Amanda and tell her good morning. I remind her to get her sister up and ready. Juli won't wake up. I go over to the wife and wake her up. I give her the phone. She talks to Amanda and then asks her to put the phone in Juli's ear. They finish and the wife is asleep again. I go get some coffee's for all of us. I come back and wake them up. We had to be at the funeral home at 9:30.

While SIL is in the shower, I see the wife sit down on the bed and start to cry. I sit next to her and hold her again. She is upset the her mother is not going to come and go to the funeral. She is very upset. She says she is done with her mother. I agree with her and let her know that it is always her trying to make her mother happy. Then she talks about her dad and her mom. How her mom always talked bad about her dad.

Crying, she says "We need to keep a good relationship. For our kids."

I stayed quiet, I just sat there with her.

We get ready, pack up the room, go downstairs and see some other family members eating. We load up our cars, and go back to check the room. SIL starts to eat. Coming back down, in the elevator, I tell the wife that her new outfit she bought was a good choice. She looks pretty. She thanks me. Then she says that IF she has to ride in a limo, will I please ride with her. I say of course I will.

At the breakfast bar, I grab another coffee and we go to find a spot. Turns out, she is sitting with the family, and she saved a seat next to her. She made SIL sit at the next table. We go to the breakfast bar and she decides she wants a waffle. I only grab another coffee. She asks me if I would share it with her and agree. So we sit with each other, share a waffle together and then leave for the funeral home.

We stay at the funeral home for a short while and then have a procession to the church. On the way, I notice the wife looking very sad, so I reach over and pat her hand. I keep my hand on hers and after a couple minutes, she opens it and we hold hands until we get to the church. Maybe, the last 15 minutes of the drive.

We attend the service and then we head to the cemetary. She is in a better spirit for the ride to the cemetary. At the cemetary, I stand behind her chair. I console a bit again. So does SIL. The wife is presented with her dad's flag that draped his coffin. Very emotional. After the funeral, the wife, SIL and myself decide to go eat at the wifes fav restaurant. While there, we check our phones. We talk about how many missed calls we got. We order and then I get a text from Beej, I had just got a big grin. I know she noticed it.

I know that during the church service, she got at least two texts. She didn't look at them, just turned off her phone.

While at the restaurant, I get a call from fave aunt. She wanted to see us before we left and they wanted to buy us lunch. I invite them and we all sit to eat. Some crying between them both over lunch. We say our goodbyes and head back to their cars at the hotel. The wife and I decide to change into some more comfortable clothes in the hotel bathroom. SIL decides to stay for a little bit to wait for another aunt to make picture copies. We HAVE to leave in order for us to get back to pick up D7 on time. I ask her to meet me at the Shell down the street. I had checked her oil and water. I filled her up with some antifreeze she had.

She would not buy antifreeze on her own. She had two jugs.

I let her know she is two quarts low.

We meet at the shell. I fill up and she is on the other side of the pump. She asks me if I want a water, I say yes and she goes inside. I go buy some oil, fill her up and start to clean her windshield. I finish, she gives me the water and stands in front of me. She tells me thanks. I give her a hug. We stand there hugging for a bit. Then she pulls out the wooden cross that I have around my neck and puts it ouside my shirt and pats it on my chest. She is starting to cray. I grab her hand, put it onto my heart, hold it there and look into her eyes. Then she moves forward and her head bows forward a little. Her forehead is right in front of my mouth because she is short. Holding her hand to my heart, I put my lips on her forehead and keep them there for a moment. She is just that height. I then kiss her forehead, and tell her to be careful. She is trying so hard to not cry and not doing a very good job of it. She looks so....guilty. We hit the road.

We get into town just in time to pick up D7 at daycare. I call the wife and ask her if she wants me to pick up some chicken so that she doesn't have to cook.

"I don't even think I HAVE anything to cook. Sure, just get something for the kids. I'm not that hungry."

I buy the family order, a bucket of sweet tea and a dozen brownies. We have family dinner together and we all discuss the weekend the kids had. I was there maybe and hour and a half. Juli gets in the shower, I help Amanda with a project that was due. We had a really nice evening. I help put food away and then say my goodbyes. The wife starts to water some of her plants and then says that she needs to go grab some stuff from her car.

Her clothes could have waited. She didn't have to get them right then and there. She is off of work tomorrow. She'll have time. At our cars, which are parked next to each other, she comes over to me again and just stands there.

"Thanks, again."
"What?"
"I wanted to thank you, again.....thanks for being there for me."
I grab her again and hold her tight. I whisper to her that I always will. That was not going to let her go through something like that by herself. That I couldn't imagine losing a parent. While holding each other, we talk about my grandfather and grandmother. My parents. We break our embrace and just look at each other. She tells me that if I want, I can bring the dog and whatever clothes the girls left at the house by in the morning on my way to work. We talk about what she'll be doing in the morning. Her normal routine of taking all the kids to school. I let her know that worse case, I'll just go after work, pick up the dog and come back with everything. She says, "Oh, okay."

Beej, that's what I meant. Hard for me, but possibly good for us in the long run. She was able to experience some of the best part of me.

And she is feeling it. I treated her lovingly and respectfully(though she may not have deserved it). But she knows that I will always be there for her. And she still knows my feelings for her, I believe.

And I'm dozing off writing this.

[kat727]

What a difficult weekend, but you handled it well. I am really proud of you. You are all in my thoughts.

kat

[whatdidido]

I'm glad you were able to be there for your wife and she was able to see and feel the respect and love you have for her. YOu are so much like my husband.

I pray she comes back to you soon. All the way.

((((h4h)))))

[Hope4us]

I commend you H4H. You did the right thing. I know how tough it must have been with your W getting calls and TM's from OM. And you know what? Even if your marriage doesn't make it, you were the bigger PERSON.

And you relating that your W said on the phone "yes Roger is here", OM is worried. GOOD. That kind of worry in him will put tension in their fun. Right now, he KNOWS you were the one she could count on. Hence the later conversation where there was obvious tension on the call.

Just keep being the better MAN. You know you are. We know you are.

[hopeful4her]

As always, thanks kat and beej.

H4U, my marriage may NOT make it, but I do feel like I have done the right thing. I know she's not as happy as she tries to tell me. I keep my hope and try to be the better person. I am who I am, SHE knows who I am, and the rest is up to her. It will definatly be her loss. I know that we will end up together again. She knows it and OM knows it. I just know it won't be any time soon.

I took the day off today. I know the wife was off, too. She's off for Veteran's day. I called my boss and had to burn a vacation day, because my bank is not closed today, but she was fine with it. She PREFERRED me to take the day off, knowing that I was pretty exhausted.

This morning, I tried to call the apartment phone and kept getting a busy signal. I tried 3 times and then called her cell phone.

Turns out, we were calling each other at the same exact time.

Again. Not the first time these things happen.

She answers and we tell each other that we were trying to call each other and chuckle. She was calling me to bring D11's girly stuff she left here at the house. I talk to my girls and tell them to have a great day. I get back on the phone with the wife and let her know that I took off today and will call her later to take the girls things and the dog.

I go back to bed for a while, get up and get dressed and load my vehicle. I call her cell phone.

"Hi. Are you at the apartment?"
"Yes."
"Are you....busy?"
"I'm here. I'm cleaning."

I let her know that I will be on my way. At the apartment, I unload the stuff and dog and she is in the kitchen washing dishes. We start a little small talk. I ask her how she is doing. She starts to cry and tells me she thinks about her dad. I don't go over to her this time. I stay at the bar area. She isn't sobbing, but the tears are streaming. We talk about her dad, his wife and that she is going to still be in touch with an attorney about her dads estate. She says she just wants to have what she is entitled to. We talk about several things.

She tells me a story of when the last time she visited him, he told her the story of an American Flag he's had from his War days. It is full of holes and tattered. She says that first, he called her his little orphan. She starts to cry again. I ask why and she says because he knew he was dying and that her mother is never there for her. He also told her that the flag represented their family. Even with all the holes, it was still intact. Just like the family.

Again, I gave no truth dart.

We go through the kids school pictures that I don't have. Her ex's new job. She says the she is going to get a bed today. Her boss is giving her a mattress set. I ask if she needs help and she looks at me and says no.

"I'm going to borrow Tom's truck" and then she looks down at the dishes with that guilty look. I ask if she needs help picking it up or bring it back. She says the boss's husband will help her load it. She can do the rest. I offered my help. We talk about some more things and then she tells me the things that she has to get done before she picks up D7 from school. I offer my help again and she says no.

Of course, I know she doesn't.

We start to leave. I take her trash outside and tell her that I'll take it to the dumpster. She says I don't have to, but I take it anyway and put it outside. At the door, she tells me she is going to change her shirt first. I look at her and put my hand out to her. She comes to me and I put my arm around her. I'm holding some stuff with my other hand, so I can't give her a full hug. She gives me one arm too. She is crying again on my shoulder. I am caressing her back and neck. I ask if she is going to be ok. She says that she HAS to. She pulls away and wipes her eyes and tells me to go get a haircut or go do something. I tell her ok and goodbye. I load up her trash in my vehicle and take it to the dumpster for her. I then stop at the little free car wash at her complex and start to vaccum. She pulls up and honks and is smiling and pointing. I walk over and open her passenger door.

"Whadja say?" I ask.
"I said that I was planning on doing the same exact thing" she says with a laugh.
"Kinda like this morining. Calling each other at the same exact time again."
I look at her car floor, "Yeah, it's pretty bad."
"I'll do mine when I come back" she smiles back at me.

I say ok and she takes off. After I get a haircut, I send her 4 texts.

I know, I know. I'm a doof.

1.

"I didn't get to finish my thoughts yesterday when I was telling you how your dad never gave up on you. Remember, I said nothing left unsaid between us....

2.

I will also never give up on you. No matter what you say or do. I will always be there for you, whether you need me to or want me to...

3.

What I have for you is UNCONDITIONAL. That will never change and I accept that it will always be my cross to bear. Dont ever be afraid with me....

4.

...to give me you honest thoughts and words. I've always accepted you for who you are. You'll always be able to lean on me. I remain strong for our family."

I just felt the need to tell her. And I don't feel bad that I did. I felt very good actually. I have no expectations from it. I told her and I move on.

[kat727]

You did the right thing this weekend. I know it wasn't easy for you but you held it together abs you were there for her. She will remember this for a long time. It still bothers me that my former in-laws went off and did something when my grandmother died. They asked if they "needed" to be there. WTH??

Anway, you get my point. It would not have been good for you and your peace of mind later. And it definetly was a good thing for her that you were there.

kat

[Sugar and Spice]

I echo everything Kat said. Its like I tell my kids, sometimes in life you have to do things that you may not want to but you do anyway, not because they are easy, but because they are the right thing to do.

You did good. She will notice and remember.

[whatdidido]

I'm so proud of you. So, so, so proud of you. Big hugs to you. She's crazy if she lets you go. She knows.

[hopeful4her]

Okey dokey.

Here I was. Sitting at home not doing a damn thing and my cell phone rings at about 3:45. Of course, I know its the wife because of the ringer. She is calling me from the apartment. I decide not to answer it. I didn't WANT to answer it. I even talk to myself,
"Good Lord, why is she calling? Just let it be. I was fine and now she has to call me. What the hell does she want to tell me?"

She leaves a VM. I take a breath and listen.

"Hey, its Clarissa. I was just wondering where you were. I was... uh... going to ask you if you could come stay with the kids while I go pick up the beds.....umm(sighs)....in my PATHFINDER......or whatever car I have. Ummm... call me if your still in town, if your not then....don't worry about it. Talk to you later. Bye"

We owned a Pathfinder several years ago. She has a Rodeo.

Like a dork, I grab my keys and head to my car to take off. I was not going to return her call from the house. I wanted her to think I was out and about. I call her back,

"Hey, I didn't hear your call."
"Hi."
"What happened?" I asked.
"Oh, I DIDN'T get it after all" she tells me in a frustrated voice with a smidge of anger. She is talking about the truck.
"Welllll, why don't we both go pick it up. Take both cars and we can load one bed on yours and the other on mine."
She thinks for a second.
"Okay. Thats fine" she says.
"Do you have Juli?" I ask her.
"Yes, she's here. I'm just waiting for Amanda to come home. Where are you?"
"I'm around the 410 and Bandera area". I'm such a liar.
"Oh, then forget it."
"I was headed home that way anyway."
"Well...Okay. Then.. I'll see you here."
"I'll be there in about 20. Bye."

Sounds like trouble, maybe. Why wouldn't she have gotten his truck? Not help her? The kids would have been fine at the apartment. It would have been like a regular day at work for her, and the kids being at the apartment. She may have called me knowing I would offer my help, but I don't think she thinks that far ahead. She's not the type to try to manipulate me. She would not want to portray herself as needing help. At least, not to me. All she wants me to see is the "I can do all this crap all by myself. I don't need ANYONE" part of her.

And besides, she knows that I can read right through her.

I get there, and I have fun with Juli. I check her homework. We wait for Amanda to get to the apartment. She finally gets there but decides to stay at the apartment to wait for her brother. Juli wants to go with us. With the wife and I sitting together in the living room, Amanda was real surprised to see me. "What are you doing here?"
"What? Do you want me to leave?" The wife and I look at each other.

All of us talking in the living room, at one point, the wife looks at me, looks at her watch, looks at her room and says, "No. I have the day off. I was thinking about blowing it off, but I just need to get it done." I agreed with her. "Lets just go get it" I tell her.

We head over to her boss's house in both vehicles. We get there and decide to put the mattress set on top of her car. I load them up and tie them down. She gets a couple calls that goes to VM. We talk about gas prices and she says that she might stop to get some gas at the Wallymart we have to pass. She looks at the job I did and then looks at me. I look at her.

We both know that I ain't no Boy Scout. I had a Christmas tree flip off the top of the car once and hang by the rope off the back. Talk about laughing our ass off. It made it home though.

I say a little prayer to myself and we head out. She calls me and says that she'll skip stopping and just get her gas tomorrow. We get to the apartment, I look at the mattress's on top of her vehicle, I look at her and give her the "Not too bad" look. She looks at me and smiles. She gives me the "your a dork" look. She helps me untie it and take it down, but I take them both to the apartment by myself.

Me Hulk! Me strong!

Once inside, I check the frame that she found at her dumpster. I tell her that it was there for a reason. She tells S14 to take it back. We put the mattress' in place on the floor. We start talking about all the crap they have found at the dumpster.

I noticed the other week that she has a new used computer chair for S14's desk and and a nice little entertainment center in the bedroom. I had figured that they were from the OM. They weren't. She found them at the dumpster. She has also found several pairs of really nice shoes. The entertainment center, the chair, shoes, rugs, decorative pillows. All at the dumpster.

"You know the shoes that I wore this weekend? The sandals, the black shoes....found 'em."
"No sh*t!"
"Yup. All that and some rugs. Look." She shows me the rugs in the living room, the dining room and kitchen. Then walks me to the girls bathroom and shows me that one.
"Holy crap!" I tell her. We need to hang around here around the end of the month, huh?" We are both laughing now.

I end up staying for most of the evening. She started dinner and asked if I would like some. I tell her sure, as long as there is enough. I sit on the sofa and she is in the kitchen preparing dinner. We are talking to each other. Mostly just chit chat stuff and then she asks,
"It was a year ago today, wasn't it?"
"Exactly!" I tell her right away, without thinking about it.

Of course I've thought about it. Her stroke was one year ago today. I come over to sit at the bar and we talk about the week prior to her stroke, and about stuff about strokes she saw on tv and I tell her about a co-worker she knows that also had one a couple months ago. Really surprising. Amanda comes over and somehow the topic turned to Thanksgiving. She asks the wife something about it and then tells me,

"Mom said that maybe we'll have Thanksgiving at the house."

This of course surprised me. Amanda asks me about it and I ask her what she thought about it. She says that its okay with her. The wife asks what my parents are doing for Thanksgiving. Amanda pipes in that they may have it the day after or maybe even on the weekend. That is true since I had no idea if the wife and I were going to split the time with the kids or what. I go grab some tea to drink in the kitchen and she asks me,
"Can I borrow the blender?"
"The blender? Yes." I look at her a little puzzled.
"I want to make tamales."

She's been making homemade tamales for Christmas the past several years. She uses that blender as a processor for the chili spices.

We all eat in front of the tv. I stayed late enough to start to get the girls ready for bed. The girls and I had our usual fun playing tickle fighting and wrestling on the sofa. The wife sat on the chair. We kept giving our 'look at these crazy kids' glances to each other. I help clean up a little and start to say my goodbyes. We are in the girls room. I look at the wife and tell her I'm leaving. She walks me to the door and opens it for me. I walk out and look at her.

She looks right at me and tells me thanks, with her little pursed lip half smile. I smile, give a nod and a quick wave and head out. I know what her smile means. Her guilt playing with her.

We'll see how the week plays out. My plan was to go back to some darkness with her. At least on my part. If she wants to contact me, she will. If not, I'm okay with that. I do need to take Amanda's Converse that she left at the house, to her tomorrow. Hopefully I'll do it before the wife gets home. I'm also pretty sure that the wife has to work this Saturday. I may sneak some time in with the kids, if I can. We might all end up together again Saturday evening.

Not sure about the Thanksgiving thing, though. Maybe we should split the time. So far, holidays are ending up with all of us together. I don't think that helps US. Just keeps her belief that we'll separate, but still be a family. Just not sure what is best.

[LL44]

Me Hulk! Me strong!

Me likey the strong boys!!!!

I smile, give a nod and a quick wave and head out. I know what her smile means. Her guilt playing with her.

Guilt over what she has done to you? Guilt over enjoying time with you while having OM?

Glad you answered her call (with a little mystery, LOVE that!) and went to help her. I think its a good thing.

By the way, I need so many new things, so let me know when I need to be at that magic dumpster!!!!