Spent some time with the W yesterday. Did not bring up her car being at OM's house on Sat. I did not feel I was in a good state of mind to talk with her about it. Although I know it needs to come out because I was getting flashes of anger and wanting to tell her to get the h@ll out of my life.
She called this morning to say that SD17 got pulled over doing 78 in a 55. He let her go to get to school and went to talk with my W and wanted to know to write her a ticket or let us handle it. Decided to have him write her under ten, does not affect our ins. and should teach her she can't get away with stuff due to my job.
I am spending the day with a friend working on some cars and having a dinner with some other people tonight. I had to go to the house to pick up a tool and went by OM's house. W's car was there, his was not. They must have went somewhere.
I left her a note saying that we needed to talk face to face. A little about the growing anger and resentment that is taking place. Also put in about sat morning, so I guess now she will know. This stuff needs to get aired in person.
I sent her a text a little while ago.
M: Deputy is going to write her for 9 over left you a note on the kitchen table
Her reply a little later
W:Ok. Sorry I'm not home. OM wanted to go talk. I understand if ur upset. I do love u!!!
Interesting way of showing it. I can't choose her actions, so that leaves it up to me. It will probably be a couple days until I talk to her again. Busy tonight, working nights weds and thur. Most likely a good thing right now. Time to put her out of my mind and enjoy the rest of the day. Maybe I will find that elusive orange can.
For those who don't like metal, this may not be for you.
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I wait and bleed
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I wait and bleed
GOODBYE!!
I wipe it off the tile, the light is brighter this time Everything is 3-D blasphemy My eyes are red and gold, the hair is standing straight up This is not the way I pictured me I can't control my shakes! How the hell did I get here? Something about this, so very wrong I have to laugh out loud, I wish I didn't like this Is it a dream or a memory?
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I wait and bleed
GET OUTTA MY HEAD 'CAUSE I DON'T NEED THIS! Why didn't I see this? I'm a victim--Manchurian Candidate I-HAVE-SINNED-BY-JUST Makin' my mind up and takin' your breath away
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I wait and bleed
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I WAIT AND BLEED!!!
GOODBYE!!!!!!!
You haven't learned a thing I haven't changed a thing The flesh was in my bones The pain is always free
You haven't learned a thing I haven't changed a thing The flesh was in my bones The pain is always free
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I wait and bleed
I've felt the hate rise up in me Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves I wander out where you can't see Inside my shell I wait and bleed
AND IT WAITS FOR YOU!!!!!!!
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
wow yenk, hope she will talk to you, sorry about the D. sheesh lol, lead foot? how is work? you being careful?
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Just try to stay as calm as possible when you talk to her. She is probably expecting a yelling match. Sorry I don't think you have to spend the night with someone to say good-bye.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I am sure she wants to talk. Cell went dead sometime in the late afternoon yesterday. Missed some messages from her.
W: R u going to talk to me? M: Sometime, busy batt on red My phone apparently was tired and shut off sometime soon after that exchange. W: Ok. Did u get my voice message? W: U still with friend? W: I know ur upset and I don't blame u at all. I do want to talk to u to. The sooner the better. W: U there? W: R u talking to me yet? W: I really wish you would talk to me.
The last messages were around 1130 pm, the first was around 330pm. The ones I missed were scattered throughout the night. Did not get back here until around 1 am. Just sent her a message that I would talk to her today and just go her messages.
Her vm was about the same. Wants to talk, will make time whenever, ILY.
See how it goes. This mess did not ruin my evening last night, still had a good time.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
I just got back from talking with my W. She was remorseful and said she was going to stop all contact with OM, whether it was to late for us or not. She understood how upset I was with her ect. I told her I still not want a D right now.
She went into how OM had no responsibilities and wanted to spend time with her and I wasn't. Then she said that it was better with me because I had always been their for her, even when she was angry or mad. That I always take care of what needs to be done. That I was the only one that she feels she can talk to about anything.
We talked for a couple hours, some about the R some about other stuff. I gave her "His needs her needs" to read. Before I left she wrote a no contact letter and gave it to me to mail.
Onward into the future. I am working nights the next two and I am going over for dinner tomorrow night. We are going shopping this sat. I hope she is serious this time. Only time will tell.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
