Well - after a horrible start to the day I went into the workshop where he was. I have not spoken to him for 10 days.
I went for 3 reasons:
1. To find out who flowers wer for. 2.To show him what he was missing. 3. to teach daughter how to do , what i do there. Office work.
1. I did not ask him, ( would not of been good Dbing ) but went to my in tray in my office and there was the receipt for flowers. A friend of H has passed away suddenly. H folllowed me into the office telling me about it. I expressed sympathy and asked appropriate questions. I was ok ( not upbeat so to speak ). i looked nice.
I was so relieved that the flowers were not for other woman. I hate myself for being relieved. I want to not care. To be strong.
2. I am not sure if i achieved ' show him what he is missing' BUT my heart did not do butterflies when i saw him either. Then his tone changed and he became accusatory regarding petrol charges. I validated his concern and offered to pay petrol money back. He said No. It left me feeling rather cold. I have been with this man 30 years. His hard work and my business savy have allowed us to build nice assets. I have never ripped anyone off in my life, I am not greedy and it hurts me to see him treat me like I would. But it also served the purpose of making me see him a little differently.
My question is - did i do myself an injustice going into the workshop. I feel not. I feel both relieved and a little stronger. Is the strength just temp because he did not send flowers to other woman? Am i kidding myself.
I will not call or text still. That I feel i can do. i have made plans for Friday and Saturday night. I am still not good company but I will make an effort i think.
