Like Whitelight, as much as I would like to say something positive and inspiring, I just don't have it in me. At this point I would say, phone the DB coaches and get help from the trained people who aren't as emotionally "invested" as some of us on here are. Please don't take me as being judgmental, but for those of us who have had to experience D for doing nothing wrong, my empathy is not there for you.
Spend the money, make the call (DB coach), sit down with yourself and do some soul searching. Would your W even consider sitting with you and listening to your reasons, explanations or apologies? You better factor in how much you love your kids and how much they mean to you. I'll tell you from a father who has to enjoy his kids part time now, it sucks, your relationship with them will never be the same. I have a D18 that I see now less then I do the cashier at the grocery store. Perhaps it's time to get your eyes off of yourself and figure out how your going to do the right things.
I know this is not the Steven Covey pep talk you were looking for, but if I didn't care, I wouldn't have posted. It's time for you to man up, do what you should have done the first time and make sure you get whatever took you down that bad path out of your system. Check with your coach, see if you will commit to W to make change X, Y, Z, will she hold off and give you some time to prove yourself. Run it by the coach if they think this is a good idea. If they give you the green light, you better get it done and don't look back. Otherwise, I would say, screw this up and you will be done.
