S, Go to the MC, but allow your h to do the talking and you listen. IF the MC asks you a question, respond. Listen! This is a key to many of the thoughts that your h is saying. You will need to learn to sift through the garbage and hear clearly what he's saying. Your h may be going to the MC just to get you off his back and also explore ways of justifying why he doesn't want to work things out w/you. They something will go, just to say "see, I tried and it's not a good thing for me or us". I could be wrong about your h, but if he's been lying, well...what good is a MC to him, you or the relationship if he can't be honest? He's been playing games w/all of you about things and it's time to step up to the plate and be honest, that is if he can.
When I speak of no relationship talks, I'm speaking of when you are not in the MC's office. I'm referring to conversations that you may be having w/your h during the day or on the phone. The MC's office should be a "safe" place to explore the relationship as long as you can remain calm and can carry on a conversation in a calm manner.
Well...if he's talking about returning home, just to fix the place up, etc., it doesn't sound like he's got much of an option. Do you have a basement or a spare room that he can live in? I know you'd rather have him sleeping beside you and back into the relationship, but I don't think that's going to happen just yet. His returning home and him being the only one to do the repairs could be an excuse to creep back in. Nothing says you have to sweep this under the rug, but you could allow him back w/the understanding that ow has no place in your home.
Remember, you have no control over him and if he does divorce you and he keeps the other house, you will have no say in who he moves in there. But, that's a ways away. Keep your focus on today and tomorrow.
Why don't you start by making a list of the pros and cons of your situation and the possibility of him moving back home due to finances. That's the first step and let's see how you do on that list. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
