forget finesse. Just pass on the message from your mother. At least SHE seems clear on your situation, even if you arent :-p
PS: yes, it seems pretty clear that it will take you doing that. He's all but told you that to your face. He likes things exactly the way they are, he doesnt want them to change, and he has no reason to change things as they are.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
