I think I'm done......saddened, but strong.....

[job]

S,
Your h has to be the one to decide if he wants to come back home and live under the same roof w/you when his lease is up. If he opts to return home, nothing says he has to sleep in the same room w/you. Do you have a quiet guest room available? If the time should arise and he mentions locating a new place, you can casually offer up space in your home, but do not expect him to jump at the offer.

Your h says he wants to change...that's part of the mlc mantra. They all want to change, but it's the depression talking. Now, I'm going to point something out to you that you need to cease doing....cease talking to him about mlc. You are diagnosing his problem and they don't want us to do that. They want to figure things out for themselves. As for him reading the books on mlc, I seriously doubt that he'll get past the first chapter. They say and do things, at times, that we want to hear, but when we aren't around, it's a different story. Also, I don't buy the "alone" time either. Many of them say this just to get us to leave them alone so that they can do whatever they want.

See the attorney, do what you must to protect yourself, but keep your relationship discussions to a minimum. You are pushing him away by doing this. He doesn't really want to hear it. He wants you to let him be. Right now, he doesn't want to be w/you, doesn't want the relationship, etc. That's okay....that's how he's feeling at this time....who knows how he will feel in six months or even a year, but the depression and the journey are calling him and he needs to be able to find himself and go back in time and face the demons that stunted his emotional growth.

S, I'm sorry, but you've got to let him go for a while and allow God to have this situation. I'm also sorry to hear about your son. Is he alright? Focus on your children, on your self for a while and allow God to focus on your h.