Well it went bad. I finally lost it in the car on the way there. Sheer frustration got the better of me and I got out the car near place and walked last bit with a ciggie in the rain. Mediation was pointless, STBX will not play fair, so we did it all and I am going to solicitor to discuss what next. To say i'm dissapointed is an understatement, she is pure evil and I can't help it but I now hate her. I detest her. She wants to break me and I will not let it happen. I also found out a lot of other stuff like the first A was premeditated for months via texts, she is also seeing someone (that does not bother me but explains why she so desperate for me to have kids overnight last few weeks), but when telling me anything hurtful, she would ensure it was done in a super hurtful way and also with an evil smirk on her face as if I deserve it.
I cannot explain how I feel right now easier than to say hate. If she was any friend of mine, I would tell her she is so out of line and only going to hurt the boys.
She cannot get a mortgage in her name so no idea what will happen now as she cannot take on the mortgage in her name and I cannot keep paying it and get a place of my own. Renting yes, but in about a year I would like to buy again.
I really feel at a loss for what to do now. I need to be strong for my boys but just want to get away for a bit. I would ideally like to sell the house, we both take out cuts and have a clean break except for the boys. If I never saw her again it would be to soon.
