Best friends?

[GFI]

Ah - just had a thought that might go through others' minds too - a formal separatiion/mediation/divorce might not work out too favourably for my W - at the moment we're working on joint finances still - pretty much - inso much as i have a well paid job giving me 2400 net and she gets 800 net + she gets an amount - which is up and down from a p/t job she has which she banks as joint savings - I have a standing order into a former joint account over which she has sole control now for 650 month + i now have a mortgage to pay - the other house - where she and H live is paid for - just utilities and living expenses to pay - looking at CSA website would give me a much lower sum to pay - given that i will have H for 150 nights per year. However, i don't think, even if W has looked into this - she would be driven to be pleasant and show goodwill towards me in order to divert me away from that - its not in her make-up - but I do have it at the back of my mind...

perhaps others in the UK might have some advice on this??? I know Arthur has these issues at the fore-front of his mind at the mo...

this arrangement might sound naive but i genuinely have H at the front of my mind and I won't do anything which puts his home in jeopardy - he needs his stability and a mum who is there as much as possible - before/after school etc and tbh - cash doesn't bother me that much - so long as i have enough to manage.

my feeling at the moment is that the arrangement W and i have seems fair in allowing us to deal as well as we can under the circumstances with ensuring H's life is as uninterrupted and unaltered as possible. I certainly wouldn't come to this sort of arrangement with just a friend - or even best friend - but W is the mother of our son.

i might look back at this post in the future and think wtf! But it feels right for me.

Anyhow - just thought I would record all that.

KBO! - GFI