Thanks for the encouragement! I am seeing little babysteps all the time, so I am feeling positive.
We went to a concert on Saturday night and had dinner before it started. On the way there in the car, we had a nice relaxed conversation, nothing serious and no working to keep the conversation going. Over the last couple of weeks, it feels more and more like old times, where we would just talk and talk and time just flies by. No more awkward silences and stuff. So it feels good to me!
{I need to tell a little sidenote about her engagement ring before I continue: since she had lost so much weight, she couldn't wear her rings at all, they would just fall off. In May, for our anniversary, I did something pretty risky (knowing DB) and got her engagement ring resized and gave it back to her. I told her that I wanted her to have the ring and be able to wear it because it symbolizes my promise to her that still stands. I did not get her wedding ring resized because I thought that would be too much.}
So to get back to what happened last Sat: During dinner, we had more great conversations, we just enjoyed talking about the food and how good it was, all kinds of other things, how her business is going, etc.. I noticed during dinner that she actually was wearing her engagement ring again. Now, she has worn it before, every once in a while she will wear it when we go on a date or sometimes even at other times. But not that often, so it is special and does mean something to me. She was also wearing a couple of other rings that I had given her over the years. So I do get the feeling she's trying to do things, wear things, and think of things that she thinks will revive her feelings for me... that's what it looks like to me!
She has a small tattoo on her inside wrist, which is after a piece of art. My mom had taken her to an exhibition during the summer of 2007 of that artist and she said, out of the blue, that the tattoo reminds her of my mom. Again, it seems to me she's trying really hard. I just don't know if it's working....
Here's another one: She had said a few weeks ago that she wears a certain perfume because it reminds her of the city where my parents live (overseas). That is where I took her on her first trip with me overseas.
I guess my mind is just trying to run out in front of the train along the tracks and hoping that's where she's heading and I can't wait for her to pick up the pace and get closer. I just need to not do that and follow with her at HER pace. I am getting encouraged by her behaviour though and get impatient sometimes. On the other hand, giving her unconditional love and maintaining distance becomes easier, because I don't have as strong an urge to pursue.
Then on the flipside, she's still talking about picking out a color to paint the boys room in her apartment.... Sounds like she's still thinking about staying a while...
