Is this worth saving, or am I only fooling myself?

[Trying2live]

Dash,
How is your GAL'ing going? This will be a huge help to you as you go through this. Find something fun that maybe you wouldn't normally do. GAL'ing is an investment into you! I also think it's really great for the walkaways to see you living, if that makes sense.

If I have anything to really to say to help it would be these few things.

Spouse is in deep fog, ignore almost all of what they say, its fogbabble. Have hope, but NO EXPECTATIONS. I found this really helpful for myself. If I have preconceived expectations from my spouse then surely i will be getting hurt because they live in the FOG. If you expect anything, at least for now since you are early in this, expect insanity, no normal common sense, selfishness,etc. This should be what you expect because even if you don't that's what your going to get-for now. There is a natural time for this. I have mentioned to getting Surviving An Affair by Dr. Willard Harley to everyone I know it's a great companion book to DR. I have implemented GAL'ing by taking salsa lessons and 180 in all areas my H complained about. I highly recommended the SAA book. He also explains in it the addiction aspect of Adultery and also that most of them die a natural death. It's a must have book to go a long with DR, IMHO.

As far as emotions I think your right on track. From my perspective when a person finds out about the adultery the 1st few months they are in shock, there is some emotion but not a whole lot. For myself, I was basically shocked and surviving and could barely feel. IT wasn't until month's 3-5 that the sorrow and reality hit. don't put any weights on yourself on how you should be feeling. Its a roller coaster, just try to take care of yourself and do things you enjoy or you won't make it the long haul. Get a massage or something that cares for you!

Consider getting the SAA book, if you can and are finished reading DR. I think reading as much as you can on Adultery is really helpful. feel free to drop by my thread I don't always go out of mine but I'll try and remember. My thread is Trying2Live-New Post 4.

I do like the detachment in your conversation, keep that up as long as you can do it without Love busting, a technique in the SAA book as well.