Trying2live-Post #4

[Trying2live]

H came over Saturday as he took the day off. We all went to DS10 football game and then went to lunch and then went to the Ronald Regan library for a while since it was so gorgeous that day.
After that we came home. A few hours later the kids went to a movie and it was him and I home alone, yes he cheated on the OW again. I did a few days prior mention to him he could spend the night but he didn't seem like he wanted to so I didn't mention it on Saturday.
He fell asleep on the couch about 8:30 and woke up at 9:30 so I thought he would stay but about 12:30AM he says can you make me some coffee, that's kinda the hint he's leaving and he has an hour drive. I say are you sure you don't want to stay its really late and you look tired. He says I have stuff I have to take care of, I say well you could leave in the morning too and h gets wierd look on his face and I say ok i'll ge tyour coffee ready. He then says I'll tuck in DS10 and I say great! I make his coffee and set it near the door by his keys and head off to my room to get ready for bed. He comes in my room 10 minutes later and says I'm gonna stay is that ok? I say sure no problem, so he says can I wathc TV in here, while you are finishing things. I respond sure and I continue to get ready. I climb into bed and he starts undressing and says can I sleep in here? I say sure, it caught me off guard as last time he slpet in DS10's room. So he climbs into bed and grabbed me and pulled me close to him and snugled and we fell asleep. I then wake up and by him grabbing me again and snuggling with me and I say Hey what's that and I laugh and he says Morning Surprise LOL. So yes he cheated on OW again. So we got up he took DS10 to breakfast I got ready and went to church and he went home and my kids met me at church. STill my motto to live by NO EXPECTATIONS, but I do have hope.

So good Plan A(SAA book) few days, butr i have to tell you guys I came home to take a npa and when I woke up i felt sad. I'm not sure what triggered it, it really puzzled me. I haven't felt this wasy since implementing my Plan A (SAA book) onOctober 3rd. Plan A is very hard especially when you've had to do and see some of what I have and not even act as if it's there but I guess maybe that's why or maybe having him sleep in my bed, not sure. I just woke up from a nap and was sad, I kept busy started organinzing and cleaning as I didn't want the kids to have to deal with me. I made it through the night no crying. Could be that my Plan B is less than 2 weeks away and I am dreading it as I have 60% of my real H around, but this sharing is not realistic and a choice must be made. I feel very confident that I implemented a very good Plan A meeting all his top 5 emotional needs. It's a little scary knowing I will go completely dark in less that 2 weeks, but I am staying focused and know I will be ok. I anticipate a few sad days and you can bet I will be coming on.
Anyways feeling better, gonna do some organizing in the garage and tidying in the back yard today. I love the fall!

How is everyone else this weekend? Anyone else able to get the Surviving An Affair book by Willard Harley?

you go Marisol! I'm so glad you are looking up dance classes, take salsa that way if you ever make your way out here we can go together!