I haven't written in awhile cause I've been in sorta a funk I guess you could call it.
H has called a few times, and as I said it's plain and generic. Arghh!! He did do something that was out of the ordinary on Sunday. He sent a text that said > " Love you muchly " It was cute I guess. I texted back and said awwwwwwwwww nice. Didn't know what else to say. He's been saying Luv you at the end of conversations which is another thing he had stopped.
What do I gather from this? That he's trying. What do I personally feel.... Almost nada, with a mix of resentment and anger.
It's really hard and I am starting to wonder if I brought all this on for nothing cause I think I just might be to angry to move forward. I've come to realize that the only way I can go anywhere with this is with answers. Answers I'm not sure he can give. It's a sad realization to come too. I'm not even sure that answers I want are fair to him, cause he may not know them.
1. WHY has he forgotten 5 years of me crying and begging him to talk to me, tell me why? 2. WHY does he think things didn't happen just because he doesn't remember them. 3. WHY can't he simply talk to me? 4. WHY am I not worthy of going to a C 5. WHY is it so hard to talk to me
ok............... Just needed to write those down.. lol
Going to the mailbox later. I'm really hoping something is there for me today. We'll see..
bbl Jayce, hope things go well for you today! Let me know.
