Hi ph-
You are absolutely right about my H needing his space. I know that. I even know it isn't about me...I think. So why am I back to having such difficulty getting that through my head?

I was okay not talking to my H from when I talked to him Saturday to yesterday evening but then I started a downward spiral and I did call him...I don't know why. He didn't answer and I didn't leave a message. I got a text from him at 4:30 this morning saying he fell asleep early and he didn't see that I had called...so weird. So I later texted him back asking if we could talk. He said sure. We talked about his work. Then we talked a little about him needing to be alone. I did what I know I shouldn't do and let him know I was having difficulty with things. He got angry and told me it isn't about me. I tried to keep it in but I couldn't...so hesitantly I told him I have needs too. He was mad and once again said that I don't "get it". I told him I do "get it" and that I have tried very hard to give him his time and space. He then agreed and started to lighten up. He asked if we could go out on a date later this week and we agreed we would meet at C tonight.

C should be interesting tonight.

I know I have been more emotional this week after what happened to my dog. Maybe I had expectations that he would have been more supportive rather than him just expecting me to support what he wants. There are a lot of things swirling around in my head that aren't helping either...his pushing me away especially when we were just talking about him moving back, the holidays, his overwhelming workload and his partner problem, etc...

I want this to work but I the thought of my H going backwards sends me spinning. I don't think I can go too far backwards. I know...detach, GAL, no expectations...I really am trying and I know I can to a degree but I'm not sure I can totally can.

Maybe I just need to take it a day at a time and not get too far ahead of myself.