He is having an EA, maybe a PA

[triste08]

Thanks for your replies, MakingChanges, Puppy and cbdmod.

Why don't you just talk to him? There are ways to confront without issuing ultimatums. Right now, I tend to agree -- if he knows that you know, then he's cake-eating, and he probably feels your condoning his adultery.

Puppy

Puppy, I would love to talk to him and really do want to issue ultimatum, because as long as he is involved in A, there is no moving forward for us and I am sick of being in limbo. Would like to tell him either quit his A and work on our M, or else move out (would not say "divorce"). I would say this, except I really do not want him to move out! How can I confront without issuing ultimatums?