I know it's hurting like crazy right now. I know it, felt it, I know it's killing you inside. You hurt for yourself, you hurt for your kids. You hurt for the marriage you once thought you had. You hurt for the future that wasn't meant to be. I know, sweetie. I wish I can take it all away for you. I wish you could take a break. Is there a way for you to get away for awhile, perhaps visit family? Would any friends or family take you in for a week or two so that you could recover a little bit? I was able to stay with my parents and that made the biggest difference.
Tx, you may not want to hear this right now but I am going to be the bad guy and tell you that this pain will eventually subside. I know it's hard to contemplate but it will, sweetie. Gradually, you will feel better and DB will help you do it. I have been exactly where you are now, some days I am still there. But most days now I feel OK and is surviving.
Honey, the more you question him, the more he will dig in his heels. That's why DB suggest we don't talk about R. He may or may not believe his words when he tells you that 'I don't think it would change anything'. What happened this weekend is that he got a full dose of reality living in a one bedroom apartment with the girls and he didn't like the look of it. He had a fantasy in his head that everything would somehow work out but reality in a one bedroom is rough. That's why he is trying to rearrange everything again and hope that maybe another change would THEN make him happier.
You and I know that it won't. It needs to happen within himself. I believe he TRULY misses his girls but the A and his own issues are clouding his judgment. He does feel guilty but guilt is not going to change him. I think our men are frailing about because they are not happy and don't know why. That's why they keep changing everything hoping something would finally click and they can find peace and happiness again. All we can do is wait, honey and take care of yourself.
Don't ask him anymore R questions even though I know it's tough and you want to protect your kids. He will just make it rough on you. His fantasy life being brought into reality by your little girls and eventhough he loves them he doesn't know how to make it all work out.
You hang in there, OK? You can do this. He is facing reality and he is panicking. Don't you panic as well. Hold your head high, you've done nothing wrong. Believe that you will be OK no matter what. I believe in you.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
