I think I'm done......saddened, but strong.....

[Silent Chrleader]

Wow, Dawn. Thank you so much for your post! I think that was the most constructive way to look at this that I have heard of. A broken bone healed properly is stronger. I like that thought. It gives hope. But, I too don't know how I'll ever get past this. I know that I too have responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage, and I believe enough in the value of family and marriage that I would want to try, but I also know that to get past something like this would take great effort on the part of my H to help me get past this, and I don't think he has the character, courage or even desire to do what it would take. I really don't! I am glad that he at least seems to have some remorse for the paid he caused our son, but he doesn't seem to have any remorse for his part in the loss of the marriage/family, or me.

I have been so depressed and weepy all day. When stayed in bed all morning and then cleaned house and kept stopping every few minutes to just sob! I know that this is just the depression setting in after the numbness of shock is wearing off, but I hate it! I can't let my S17 see me like this because then he might feel guilty about telling me the truth and that would just kill me. He went to a friend's today, so I guess my body felt it was OK to fall apart. I also called my MIL. She is very supportive. I can talk to friends and such who support me, but I find it helpful to talk to someone who also loves and is concerned about H.