So, what about H wanting to help me out?? Does he just feel obligated? I think he would have gotten the ornaments down yesterday if I'd let him. Should I let him do things like that or get help elsewhere?
Thanks, MC, for the input! I'll file that in my "the more I learn about the men the more they puzzle me" file!
Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
The more you can show that you're independent of him; the more you can show him that you're moving forward. I'd try to keep him away from doing things around the house as much as possible. There might be times when it's necessary; but you need to show that you don't "need" him.
If he notices that other men are helping you; that my make him more curious. You know him better than I; what would be his reaction if he knew that other men were helping? Not that is should be his concern and he has "other interests" now.
MC..men are just confusing anyway Amy..I think Tom just doesn't want us having all these other men helping us because it may upset him LOL (just kidding!)..but that is good advice. I was thinking after I was telling you all that I didn't really have anyone to help me that I probably have 1-2 good friends (married couples that we are friends with) that know about the sitch that their hubs would help me if at all possible, this much I know, so I do feel better about that
OK..sooo..when I got home from cleaning, hub was home, and I walked into my room and sure enough, he'd gone ahead and hung the STUPID curtains without me even tho I specifically asked him to wait and show me (argh..) and then, on top of that, son comes out and is like "could you take me to Blockbuster" (mind you, I've been gone cleaning for the past few hours and hub is home) and I said "well why did this have to wait until I got home when dad and older daughter is home?" Son says, "well I asked dad and he was getting ready to watch a movie" (ok..so I was extra tweaked at that point)..so I go downstairs and I"m like "ok, so you are too busy to take son to blockbuster because of the movie?" He said "that's not what I said, told son to watch this movie with me if he wanted and I hate when son twists my words" I was like "son didn't twist them, I said you didn't have time" and then I thanked him for hanging up the curtains and then asked WHY he didn't show me how to do it like I asked. He said "I didn't want to wait" (ok..I could have really lost it there and no court in the world would have convicted me LOL)..and I was like "ok, again, thank you for doing it, but I need to know how to do this stuff. He said he would show me another time and that really the screws they gave me to use were wrong so he used something else..
So, loaded son in the car and took to blockbuster, made sure he knew I wasn't mad at him, cause I was just perturbed in general, and he was like "no, I know you aren't"..and then while walking around Blockbuster, I was fine again Came home, cleaned out the cat litter box, in and out where hub was watching his movie, and then got some food finally
Sigh..so there you go..tonight will be an early bed night for sure..I feel wiped out from my emotional roller coaster that I sent myself on LOL!
Hi Tawnya, just wanted to stop by and tell you that I've been reading up on your sitch. Wasn't able to find your first thread, but found #2 and read the whole thing. Trying to keep everyone's stories straight, I will probably have to go back and review, just to make sure I don't get stories confused.
Anyway, not much to say right now except to tell you that I appreciate all your insight on my sitch and that I plan on following yours as well. It's been really helpful to have some virtual friends who are going through the same things, even if some of the details vary. I have some support in the real world, but no one who is going through it themselves.
I'll be around. Hope you'll keep popping in to my thread, too.
Me: 38 H: 41 M: 12 D12, S10 H began EA: 7/08 H moved out: 9/30/08 Bomb (sleeping with OW): 10/23/08
My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1638048&page=2#Post1638048
Amy..I think Tom just doesn't want us having all these other men helping us because it may upset him LOL (just kidding!)..but that is good advice. I was thinking after I was telling you all that I didn't really have anyone to help me that I probably have 1-2 good friends (married couples that we are friends with) that know about the sitch that their hubs would help me if at all possible, this much I know, so I do feel better about that