Trixi aka "The Pitbull who can't let go"

[Trixi]

Just finished taking H to airport to go to Turkey.
He took me out to a very nice dinner last night.

While at dinner he asked me what was happening with Thanksgiving. Long story short, he actually said that I should ask my mom if he and SS could come for Thanksgiving. Keep in mind, it is my parents, my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, and family friends that helped me move. I thought it was actually pretty brave of him to even consider coming.
I asked my mom and she said "no". She said IF he was talking about actually reconciling, etc, then that would be a different story. Bummer. I really want to be with my family on Thanksgiving--and H, my daughter (who doesn't want to see my mom and won't go to Thanksgiving), and SS are my family, too. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to be torn.

OTOH, I can't argue with my mom. H said last night that he is really quite fine with our current sitch because it keeps him interested. That when we lived together it was BORING and he thinks it will go back to that. This way, he gets the 'joy of rediscovering' me. Snort! I said "Don't get all "Journey" me."
He does feel that he is getting back the person that he married all those years ago; but fear keeps him from getting off the dime. Well....that and I'm not making him do more. And I said "Is it going to take me saying "Eff You. I'm out." for you to finally realize?" He was really taken aback. He said my whole demeanor changed. He didn't like it. And I don't mean that like he was mad at me, I mean that he didn't like how it felt.

So, now I get to write him an email to tell him Thanksgiving at my folks won't work out; I don't want to burn any future bridges and I want to figure out a way for the 4 of us to get together. UGH! Any ideas on how to finesse an email?