Divorced now, seeking reconciliation

[drdon]

Thanks Craig54,

I did let her listen to it. She returned it to me a week after I gave it to her. She made no comment at all. Not sure what to make of that.

Divorce is now final (I received the final papers) but if she changed her mind I would take the opportunity to see if we could reconcile.

After she returned the KLA CDs she went on a business trip out of state. During her absence I took care of her cat and mail. The day she returned, before she arrived I returned her cat and left a vase full of tulips, with a note welcoming her home. She did not respond to that the day she arrived, only the next day, by e-mail, thanking me.

Last week, she asked me for a book I had. I called her to return it to her. I live only a mile or so from her townhouse, so I walked over with a firm intention not to stay unless invited. She opened the door, and I offered the book, ready to turn and leave. But she invited me in, then asked if I planned to walk more and would I like to walk together. Of course I said yes. We walked a talked together for at least an hour.

The next day I sent an e-mail, thanking her for walking with me, and saying that I enjoyed it. She replied that she enjoyed it also. Same day she brought by some files I left in her file cabinet. Looked like shes still intent on clearing me out of her life, since I didn't ask for the files.

Not sure where this will go, if anywhere. Following my counselor's advice, I am building my own life as if from here on out we will never reconcile, I am not yearning for a reconciliation, nor depressed.

Sometimes I want to call her and ask her to do some of the things we used to enjoy together, like playing frisbee or long walks, but I've avoided it to make sure she knows what life will be like without me, if that matters to her at all. Also I don't want to do the "hot pursuit that drives her away."

I know that when married one of her complaints was I did not pay enough attention to her, but it seems unwise now to pay a lot of attention to her, since she would likely interpret that as me trying to change her mind. I don't think she's getting a 180 from me, but I don't know what else to do. I just keep telling myself it is over, time to move on, yet know that if she gave even the slightest sign of interest in renewing our relationship, I would be happy to do my best to renew it.

I know Michelle says don't believe anything they say and only half of what they do. So at this point I half believe she's happy with the divorce. Seven months since separation, about a month since finalized divorce.