So...my S11 is coming over later than I expected today...and it's left me with kind of a heavy morning/early afternoon. Just a lot of silence in the house - and, really, this is the first Sunday morning I've been alone in this way in a long time. I'm finding myself missing our Sunday routine a lot - the pancakes I would make for everyone - the sound of my baby boy as he runs through the living room - or complains about being awake...he's so cute when he's grumpy in the mornings.
I felt a bit of anger toward my wife today...not a lot...maybe it's not even really anger - it's just this disbelief that she can't see how much she has torn apart our little family - how many people she is hurting...but I know that she just can't see that now - won't see it - and I also realize that it may just be too late for us - but I must admit that I still love her - and that I wish the best for her - and hope that she can find some clarity through this separation.
Like I mentioned before, she starts IC this week - it may do nothing for her - it may convince her that what he is doing is right...it's out of my hands...and I have to leave it that way. I just have to continue to be lovingly detached until a final decision is made one way or the other.
I'm going out of a run now...it's finally cooled off here in Southern CA (at least for today) - so even though it's very windy and dusty out, a run might just help me clear my head some...then it's off to get some groceries before my S11 is here.
