Hi...While I was making plans to figure out what to say on Thursday...I got a phone call by 'A'. Kinda' the same timing as the first time around the track. Hmmmmmm.
1.) I saw he called. (no message) 2.) Went to breakfast with my new roommate. a.) Nice fall day, someone to encourage. b.) Even at tough time, he is a positive person. 3.) Came back from breakfast, called 'A' left 'hi' message. 4.) Ick...have to wait again. a.) Telling myself what you said...'time to trust'.
Hey, talked to my friend, 'K'. He said that the TV survey panel sounds unique and fun. I have four tickets. Still nervous about that. I want to say 'hi' to him first...maybe I will be able to fit into the conversation about 'how the 'P' is?' Get it?
Thots:
1.) One anxious moment replaces the last. 2.) Want to relax. 3.) Want Tipper to know that I realize how important encouragement is in a 'long period of time' like this.
Hey JoJo, How is this timing as the first time around?
Regarding 3 & 4: Can you return the call? What are your thoughts about having to "wait again"?
And I'm not sure, can you very specifically explain that 'P' thing, JoJo?
Blue hugs back to you!
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Jojo, Thanks so much for your encouragement. Things have been pretty good and positive for me over the past few days. I hope you know how much I appreciate your encouragement. You are a diamond in the rough. I hope for the best with regards to your conversation you will have with your H on thursday. THanks Again, TIPPER
1.) Similar to first time, 'A' called two weeks and three days from goal date. 2.) 'A' called 10:00 am; I returned call/left message 2:00 pm 3.) 'Waiting again' means waiting game for him to call again...not so bad right now.
P? P! I can't say specifically...:}
I love this time of year. I love to try out all the Pumpkin flavored coffee. I just had a Pumpkin Latte...fantastic!!!
He called on Sunday...I was talking to a friend and missed the call. I am happy he has tried to pursue me. I did return his call/left message, but I 'did a 180' when I didn't rush to call him back.
I am working on trusting that he will call again. I really want to call him every day to say 'Hi', but I don't.
Keep in touch...i'm just on the other side...keep up the good work in yourself and with your patience.
1.) 'A' called Sunday. - I missed the call. 2.) I returned call late Sunday afternoon. 3.) Tempted to call or txt him, but didn't - waited. 4.) Wanted to call on Thursday to say 'hi' - too busy. 5.) 'A' called cell at 3:30 pm Friday. 6.) 'A' called me at work. Spoke to him, very busy, very quick conversation. a.) Talked about returning his dishwasher to my work and about getting paint to have for touch up paint. b.) He sounded a little down. Told me he couldn't afford to go away for Christmas because work is very slow. c.) I initially took the call as his making an excuse to call me. Then, I got upset because he just wanted to see me at my work. 7.) It took all I could muster to not break my plans and tell him that I'd wait for him at work. It was difficult. 8.) I txt him to tell him I wouldn't be at work when he got there because I had plans. 9.) He returned txt telling me that he would be at my work on Monday night. 10.) I told him that would be a good time because I was working then. I also told him that it would be good to see him. 11.) I went home and I ate comfort food and felt used and fat.
Very sad, very tired. Like we discussed, I hope that he has been thinking of me. I hope that it was just an excuse to call me. He sounded like he needed encouragement. I want to take care of him. I thought maybe he needed some hug therapy.
Why does it feel that just when I feel that I'm doing something right, I feel that something I did set things back?
Process:
1.) Unable to make a decision on how to relate to 'A'. 2.) My friend recommends actions that are too pursuing for me. a.) I become uncomfortable, afraid, and anxious.
3.) 'A's actions give me mixed messages--I'd like to have you closer and available, but when I am, he runs away. a.) When I respond to a message he gives, he seems to disappear. b.) It's almost as if he's afraid. c.) I'm usually nice and polite. Would I get a closer response if I ignored him?
4.) He said he is coming to the store on Thursday night. I won't be working. I would love to see him, but he didn't ask me anything. He initially asked me, but now I'm confused. a.) I used to offer my help. Now, I think I have to wait to see. I want to see him, but think it might be better to try to see what he does if I'm not available.
JOJO, Hang in there. It sounds to me like you are doing things right. Your making yourself busy when he calls and your not jumping at any bone he may throw.
My H would call me when he first left me about once every couple weeks and then disapeer again. When he would call he would sound very broken. I did all I could to be caring and loving with out smothering or being pushy. Sometimes he would be in an drunken outrage and call or come over pissed off and down right rude. I didnt even recognize him it was like he was possesed.
It has been a year and a half since those days. It was torture. I felt my world crumble and my own self wither away. I cant even beleive that I am here having this chance with my H to peice. It is a pure blessing. I always felt we were meant to be and he is my One and only. I guess time will tell.
I want you to smile and know that your doing well. No matter what craziness we are put through, we have to be strong and stick to the DB guidelines. I often would go back and look at the basics or reread ch.'s from DRemedy to help guide me. Your on the right track just be patient.
It is soooo good to hear from you! I think its great that you love him. I can relate to 'the torture' feeling. I am so thankful that I don't feel as destroyed as I used to two years ago. Sometimes, I allow myself to rethink things he said when he called to tell me the news he left. I have to push it out of my head with present grateful and good thoughts.
Tonight I will take your advice and re-read some DB chapters. As much as I want to see him, I want to be strong and do the 'unexpected'.
Thank you for the reminder 'to be patient and hang in there' most people don't understand. I don't want to take control of this because when I try, it often takes control of me.
I am praying for a nice holiday season.
Thanks for being there and checking in. I appreciate it very much.
