Like I said, your H and my H are both afraid of the committment. My H doesn't want to commit to coming back and your H doesn't want to commit to ending it. They are stuck but hopefully still trying to figure it out.
I have no answers on how to stall or dismiss the D when you aren't the petitioner. Have you talked to your L about what your options are?
You think your H's indecision is about avoidance. Why do most people avoid things? I think most of the time it is because they are unsure of what they are doing. If that is the case, you may still need to give your H more time to figure things out. If you have had enough, then you have every right to move on. I'm not sure you are there.
